That One About Baylee

Can I Go Now?

         Beep! Beep! Beep! Stupid alarm. I wish I didn't have to go to school, that would make things so much easier. I could wake up to the tweeting of the late-afternoon songbirds, take a nice long bath, and not worry about going outside. Or downstairs. Or- you know what? I'm tired of wishing. Wishes don't come true. I can wish as much as I want, But I still have to go to school. I'll still have to face my drunken mom, be chased by the neighbors, visit my dad's grave, and on top of it all, I'll still have homework!

Despite my demeanor, the sunrise was just as lovely as ever. Rays of sunlight pour through the window to my left. As of now, it's just barely peaking over the horizon. Long, sparkly, beautiful strands of golden light, dancing along the pink-orange haze of clouds flood my eye with beauty. I find it sad that I will never see something this beautiful with two eyes ever again.

It's not ALL my mom's fault, after all, I'm the one who thought staying down while my mom got drunk was a good idea. I wanted to help her, but I know better now. All I got was a broken wine bottle to the face. I'm lucky it only got my left eye! If I hadn't dogged, it could've been fatal. Sometimes, when I look back at the incident, I feel like I would have been better off.

Between verbal, mental, physical, and emotional abuse, I've seen it all. Even self-harm. I have scars running up and down my arms to prove it. The left side has always been worse than the right. The fucked up side. The one with the eye, or lack thereof, that I've grown to hate. It has become the embodiment of my problems.

For one reason or another, people seem to think it's their job to punish me for being different. It sucks. Why would I need any of this? Why would people think it's right to beat the shit out of someone on a regular basis?

I push these thoughts of torment aside, as I remember my previous goal, getting ready to face the day. I dodge the shards of broken glass on the floor, and wince as I remembered how they got there.

"Hey, loser! Get back here!" I ran as fast as I could towards my house. The neighbors had me trapped, cornered against my own house, their fists clenched, intentions clear. I panicked, and broke the window with a nearby rock. I jumped through it, hitting the shards on the floor when I landed. It hurt like hell, but I couldn't just let my attempted assailants just hang out around my house. I ignored the throbbing pain, and proceeded to throw everything in my view out the window. This went on for a while, until I was sure they were gone, then I sat in the shards, and cried.