My Own Personal Superhero

Chap. 2: Hurricane of the Heart

     If I could explain what it felt like to have Kyle finally look my way last summer I would but its indescribable. I never thought I'd get this chance with him. I never thought he would be so open minded about me. About us. Well. It happened. We happened. Kyle has these really nice eyes and when I first looked into them... on his birthday, it was the first wave of happiness I felt in a long time. He smiled at me and he made me feel wanted. Our first kiss happened right outside the mall and I didn't know what to think when he kissed me. And I definitely wasn't ready. My heart was racing and my hands wouldn't stay still. I could hear my heartbeat as he pulled me and layed one on me. I was like... "did that just happen?" Well not out loud of course because I was extremely shy at first. I didn't know if it was okay to say certain things to him but now.. I kinda just say whatever and hope for the best. The hours worth of phone calls made all the difference, he would listen to me. Legitimately listen to me speak. Not pretend to care but genuinely give me his full attention. And nothings really changed since then, he still engages in serious conversation even if sometimes we get so goofy. Kyle is consistent though he surprises me every single day. He is what I needed. What I still continue to want and crave every single day I wake up. He provides stability, he never leaves me guessing what he feels.

I know he cares and he knows what I feel for him (but how couldn't you when I literally remind him every 6 seconds). But I do that for a reason. I do that because I need Kyle to know no matter what happens I could never hurt him. Not only because he has been my dream man for like 3 years but because he is such a pure, real, and undeniably amazing man who never deserves to feel in the dark or hurt. I could never be the one to hurt him. I could never just get up and go. He means more to me than I could have imagined. I never thought Kyle would want me back. And now that he does... now that he's here, I appreciate the living fuck out of him. I am so grateful Kyle chose me. I am so grateful he's here, hopefully, to stay. There is no other guy out there that I want more than him to be in my life as my man.  Kyle is everything I've ever really, truly, wanted. As soon as I met him, I fell so hard for him. He surprised me. I really didn't know a man like him existed. He was so handsome when he smiled and when he pulled a nerdy joke I was so shocked. He was the guy that I thought was untouchable. And when he touched me, kissed me, I had all the butterflies you could imagine. And it wasn't my first kiss, but it felt like I mattered. So what I want to express truly to Kyle through this writing is he matters and this is my way of showing him.

He matters more than he'll ever know. He doesn't have to post about me like I post about him. Hes been through a lot as I can tell but I gotta let all this out. As a writer, it's my role to be a Hopeless Romantic. But with him its so genuine. It's amazing. It's real. It's raw. It's beautiful.

I always will want him over the others. No matter who comes in my life, Kyle will be the one. Bold to say but true.