Behind green eyes (The mortal instruments)

Chapter 1: Ten years

Chapter 1

Clary

I fall down on my back, Heosphoros in my hand. Isabelle put her foot on my stomach, her whip around my arm.

"You know I let you win right?" I say looking at her.

"Oh of course", Izzy says and takes away her foot, smiling evily. "If it makes you feel better".

"It forgot my speed rune", I say but I didn't, Isabelle is just better than me.

But she knows I'm lying so she just starts laughing. "One of these days you'll have to beat me, I mean come on, but you're usually not this bad, what's up?"

Yeah. Maybe I didn't concentrate. I haven't been able to concentrate since I woke up this morning.

Today it's been ten years to the day since Jonathan and I came here to the Institute and Mayrse took us in. We came in the middle of the night and she knew who we were, and she was confused as to why we were on the doorstep of the Institute.

"I guess", I say sitting up, crossing my legs, my gear is tight but I can manage to cross my legs. "It's that day".

"Yeah I know", Isabelle says and sits down in front of me. "How are you feeling about it?"

I shrug my shoulders. I was so little, I barely even remember. I would've forgotten if it weren't for Jonathan reminding me. "I don't know", I say. "I've lived here for the biggest part of my life, and still I wonder why, I love it here don't misunderstand me, but I can't help wondering why this all happened, why my mom threw me through the portal that night and why to New York".

"Yeah I understand", Isabelle says. "I mean I'm born here but it still doesn't feel like home".

"It's not that either, I just feel like I have so many unanswered questions", I say. "Back than I would've given anything to be free from my father, I loved him but I hated him you know, he was so mean, always wanted us to practice, even gave us gear, can you even imagine, a four year old in gear? And I couldn't hold a sword back than, it was to heavy and my father was angry because of that".

Isabelle looks at me. When Jonathan and I first came here, Isabelle didn't like me all that much. She'd been the only girl here, not including her mother. But after a while we became friends. Now we can't really be without each other. We're parabatai now. Jonathan didn't want me to have a parabatai bond because once in it you can't undo it. I didn't listen to him and I'm glad I didn't. He wasn't angry or anything, he just wanted me to make sure I knew how great of a commitment it is, greater than marriage even. And I knew it.

Did mother ever regret dumping my brother and I on the streets of New York. An eight year old and a six year old. Babies, in most adults eyes. Jonathan having to take on the responsibilities of a brother and a father to his little sister, me. Comforting me during the nights when I had nightmares, forcefeeding me when I refused to eat, play with me, protecting me when I was scared. 

"I think I'm gonna go and lay down for a while", I say, staning up. "Scream if you need me".

"Will do", Izzy says.

I leave the training room and head for my room.

The morning after we arrived the Clave started looking for our parents. They didn't find them at the Morgenstern mansion. They were gone. The Clave started an investigation to search. After searching for them they were considered dead.

Jonathan and I never believed our parents are dead. We always believed they are alive. Or maybe we just was to believe they're still alive. At least our mother. But I think I'd be sad if our father was dead, I think. What kind of father starts shadowhunter training with four year olds, or beats their son? I never liked our father a lot but I don't think I wanted him dead.