Inside Out

Chapter 5

*Forgive Me*

As the week progressed Phil and Ryan seemed to get progressively closer and closer to each other. Ryan seemed to isolate Phil and keep him away from his friends constantly. He wanted all of Phil's attention 24/7. This affected Dan immensely. He was alone again and it's all because of Ryan. Days went by like this. Days and days of flowers and love notes in Phil's locker and candy and presents. It was sickening. Eventually, Friday came. It had happened during passing period between 4th and 5th hour. They were walking down the hall hand in hand, as is usual now and Dan was stuck behind them. Nothing more than a shadow as usual. "So Phil-" Ryan started. "I know it hasn't been long but I wanna ask you somethin'."

"What is it?" Phil replied.

"I want ya to be my boyfriend. It sure would be nice to have a pretty boy like you to call mine." Dan felt like he wanted to be sick. His stomach twisted in knots. He could literally feel the bile rise to his throat but he suppressed the feeling. Phil smiled up at him.

"Yes, Ryan I would love to!" He exclaims all giddy. Ryan grins and grabs Phil's jaw, pulling his chin up so that they can meet in a kiss. Dan's heart sank to the floor and his stomach must have committed seppuku. He couldn't hold it back anymore. He covered his mouth and ran straight to the bathroom. Once he reached a stall he emptied his stomach. After he'd finished he sighed and leaned against the stall. His throat burned and tasted horrible. He couldn't believe he'd actually, physically threw up at the thought of Phil being with someone else. When Dan ran Phil tried to go after him. He really did, but Ryan pushed him up against the lockers hard enough that Phil knew there'd be a bruise.

"Ow! Ryan what the hell?!" Phil said. Ryan had a tight grip on Phil's upper arms. "I'm sorry." He said, now letting go. "I just-don't worry about him. De-uh D......" He paused, forgetting the shy boys name. "Dan! -will be fine. Dan will be fine okay? Let's get to class." Phil sighed and looked the direction he'd gone.

"I don't know Ryan. You don't know him like I do. He's fragile, and he looked like he was about to throw up. If he's sick then he's going to need someone to take care of him." Ryan just growled in response, letting go of Phil and keeping his eyes cast down.

"Hey," Phil spoke. He kissed his cheek sweetly. "Don't worry. Dan's my friend. Nothing more."

"Do you promise?"

"Yes."

But it was a lie. Phil couldn't promise anything. After all, a while ago he had almost kissed Dan. When he'd spent the night at Phil's house and it started snowing. He forced Dan to come outside and they had a snowball fight. At some point they'd pushed each other down and buried each other in snow. Phil leaned down. He was going to kiss Dan and his heart was racing a mile a minute but for some reason, Dan stopped him. He'd grabbed Phil by his shirt and flipped them over, burying him instead. Why had Dan stopped him? He's probably not gay. But then again, no one really hides that anymore, unless they're really old fashioned. These days, it's pretty common to be. But then, would he just show it? There's no reason for him to hide. Phil sighed to himself. Dan probably doesn't like him. Phil then quickly pushed away those thoughts. He has a boyfriend! He can't think like that! Plus Dan might be sick! Those things are more important than his inner monologue right now.

Ryan simply nods when Phil responded and walked off to class. Phil sighs and goes down the path he saw Dan take, walking into the first bathroom he sees.

What he finds, or more hears, is Dan's sobs from one of the stalls.

"Dan?" Phil asks. "Hey, are you okay?"