beautiful dreams

Snow❄️⛄️❄️⛄️❄️

I still couldn't believe what he just said. wait do I love him? it's to early to tell.. well I have known him for 7 years. I think I do... I mean I like hearing that he loved me so that must mean somthing. I think I love Blake...

He walked in face flushed and his hair in a mess. "Blake?" I asked. he looked at me "yes liss?". "Is what you just said true? do you love me?" I asked. because look I'm not one of those people that just through the word love around it's not just a word, it's pretty fuckin special. i looked at him and saw he looked nervous. "malissa, I have loved you from the first time we met" he said putting a hand on my shoulder stroking it lightly. I felt tears prick my eyes. "blake?.. I think I'm in love with you too" I said looking deep into his dark blue eyes. he smiled and before I knew it his muscular arms where wrapped around me, hugging me. I smiled. "I'm so glad you don't know how much I wanted to hear those words come out of your mouth" he said smirking still holding me.

We cuddled some more then I went and got changed. I came back and saw him in a jacket , scarf, hat, gloves, a thicker coat, and thick jeans. I have him my "what the heck" look. "ugh babe? Whatcha wearin?" I asked giggling. "It's snowing! we'r gonna go in it! he exclaimed. I laughed "well what am I gonna wear?" I asked. "I thought you could just layer the clothes you have" he said shrugging. I gave him a peck on the lips "okay be right back" u said giggling and grabbing my bag again. I put a pair of leggings, and skinny jeans under my pink heart pajama pants. and I put my tank top, and my sweater under a black sweat shirt. I walked out with his smiling at me. "this feels surprisingly comfy " I smirked. he handed me gloves and one of his beanies. I put them on and ran outside in the beautiful snow. i jumped into a big pile of snow. I felt Blake's arms around me picking me up, he spun me around while I giggled and a big smirk was plastered on his perfect face. he put me down and connected his soft pink lips with mine. I smiled when we broke apart and he held my hand in his. we started walking, "hey liss you wanna sled!?!" he exclaimed. my eyes widened, "yaa!!!" I yelled. he ran to his tool shed while laughing at me. When he jogged back I smiled and looked around for a hill. "there's a awesome hill over there" he said pointing behind me. I smiled a huge smile an ran up the hill. well slipping a couple times. I got up to the top and got on the sled on my knees. "oh you gettin on your knees now?" he shouted. I smirked and went fast down the hill. "aaaaaahhhh!!!" I screamed as I went on the bump. and landed hard on my knees. when I got to a stop I over exaggerated, and laid in the snow holding my knees "owwww owowowow" I whined. I heard him chuckled. he got down on his knees next to me. he made me sit up and he kissed my knees. "better?" he asked chuckling. I nodded my head pouting like a little kid. he kissed my nose making me giggle. he then kissed my lips. he just laid there kissing for god knows how long. it wasn't heated though, just sweet. I really did love This boy, Jesus . I smiled into the kiss hugging him close. we broke apart and he rested his forehead on mine.

Soon my cheeks got rosy and my hair was frozen, "we should go inside babe I don't want u to get sick" he said concern laced in his deep velvet like voice. "Well I am cold, and your nose is bright red and you have little ice sickles in your hair." I said ruffling his icy hair. "C'mon we can make hot cocoa, my mom gets the best kind " he explained. I raised my full eye brows "well I can't pass up hot cocoa"

When we got inside he told me that I should change. so I skipped to his room to my bag. I got out my dark navy blue sweat shirt that said "skool sucks" and the only thing I had left for pants was these pink short looney tunes shorts. my sweatshirt was long enough you could hardly tell I was wearing shorts. I walked out and put my wet clothes in his white dryer. I then skipped out to see Blake taking out what looked like a second mug of hot cocoa. he smiled at me then looked at my legs.. my only good feature if u ask me. his eyes went dark and he slid the mug on the counter making his way towards me and slung his arms around my waist looking down reading my sweatshirt. "nice liss " he said chuckling "you know you look amazing in shorts" he whispered in my ear making me shiver from head to toe and my knees felt like jello. "Why thank you lover boy" I giggled bopping his nose and slipping away to take a sip of my hot cocoa. my eyes went as wide as saucers as the creamy chocolate taste exploded in my mouth. "oh my god! this is amazing" I commented rather loudly. he laughed "told ya ". he ran his hands through his silky dark hair and lead me to the couch where spongebob was on. "did you read my mind! I love spongebob" I beamed at him. he looked at me and chuckled once again, then his eyes went to my thighs and anger flashed through them. at first I was clueless until I remembered what was on my upper thighs. I looked Down and noticed my sweatshirt and shorts had rode up, exposing the shiny pink/white scars. he rested his larger hand on my thigh and set down his drink. "what is this!?" he almost yelled. I winced at his tone. "I-ugh erm uh" I stammered looking down ashamed of myself. after a while I just stopped feeling, so I haven't cried in months. even though I used to cry myself to sleep countless nights. i looked up and saw Blake's eyes and it broke me. he ran his long fingers over them. "why??" he asked his voice cracking slightly. I never looked up "I am depressed, everyday is a battle for me. I'm insecure, I have all kinds of anxiety, I'm just a mess" I said letting out a frustrated sigh. his hands cupped my cheeks and brought my head up, his bright blue eyes, full of hurt and guilt. why was he guilty?? "You are anything but mess, you are so beautiful" he said kissing my nose. i scoffed "okay.." I let a tear escape my eyes and he engulfed me in a hug. "when's the last time you did it?" he asked seriously. "2 1/2 months .." I said crying full on now. he hugged me closer "I could of stopped you" he said sounding as broken as me, his voice cracking. "no don't say that Blake, you didn't know, nobody knew at the time" I said kissing his cheek.

"Tell me why" he said "I want to know everything, every little thing on your mind" he said serious.

Then I began my life story.

"Don't get me wrong I have a pretty good life it's just that depression it hereditary (yes it is it's a fact), and i was bullied when I was a lot younger" I began. I continued telling him about how my dad left as soon as I was born and how my mom was the best but when we fought she fought mean and I will never forget the things she has said to me. even if she didn't mean it .