the deluded ones [#2]

lose

april 28th, 2017

you say i shouldn't call myself dependent because, to you, i'm far from it.

but you don't see what goes on inside me, and you don't hear my fears. i trust people to easily, and, with some, i empty out my heart like there's no tomorrow for me to hold onto all of it. i grow too attached, and it's like a web is beginning to develop where i'm linked to so many people, some present and some past, all of which heard many of my stories.

the webs link my heart with each person, and i'm tugged in so many ways. but, as it seems, each person has been pulled too hard by me, and everything snaps. they run away after hearing what i said, and i'm left clutching my heart in pain as the sting of the snap continues to reverberate.

and i'm scared because i'm getting attached to you. i'm scared i'll ruin it with my messy feelings and confusing phrases, and i pray you'll never snap the web or snip it away. but nothing is certain, and i am, regardless of what anyone says, too dependent on those i connect with.

and i always get hurt in the end because i play a losing game every time the deck is dealt, and i'll collapse from being beaten away every time, still hoping to find someone who won't hurt me so much again.