the deluded ones [#2]

many

july 11th, 2017

and my brain is divided because one is saying it's only a dream, just a dream, but the other is saying it's a sign of the times.

i want to believe it's just a dream; i want to believe so hard, but i've been losing faith in believing and hoping for good things. it's easier to believe it's a sign of the times. it's easier to believe that once september hits, once our new starts begin, you'll disappear from my life and leave a hole too big inside for any diamond or gem to mend. it's easier to believe it's a sign that you're going to leave soon.

i don't want you to leave; i'm not ready for you to leave. i'll never be ready for you to leave.

but you're going to leave; i know you're going to. you've already started to.

i don't want this to end; i'm not ready for our story to end.

i don't want to be selfish; i don't want to hold you back, but i already am. i want you to stay when i know you can't. you can't stay, and i wish you could. god, i wish you could.