AN: When somethings italicized it’s a memory.
Justins POV:
I roll over and look at the clock, 6am on the dot. I’ve been waking up an hour before my alarm goes off for the past few months. It’s like I have an internal alarm clock that just won’t let me sleep peacefully. Not since, she left…
I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling like every morning and every night before I finally control my thoughts and fell asleep. I tried to control myself this morning, I wasn’t going to roll over and reach for the scrap book under my bed for once. Today was just going to be about me and my fans, no more crying. What’s the point?
I laid there for another 10 minutes trying not to move a muscle to fall back into unconsciousness. But it was like muscle memory. I stood up and looked at the floor, knowing I could just pick up the book and relive every moment with her, act like she was in the room with me, pretend she had just left and I’d see her later tonight anything to numb this feeling inside.
I walked into the bathroom shutting the door and getting in the shower trying to drown out all of my feelings before the day started.
Selenas POV:
I was just getting home from the studio, I looked at the clock and couldn’t believe it was already 6am. I was working on my 4th album and a few songs for my new movies. I took a break from singing, sooner than I wanted to but ever since he left, I just never felt like singing anymore… But it’s been 19 months and I knew I couldn’t just stop singing all together. Anyways I’ve gotten better at acting like everything was fine and I was finally over him. But that was only when I knew I was in the public’s eye. When I was home, I dropped all of my fake emotions and everything came out.
I bought Mom and Brian a cute little house right down the road from me after everything happened with him… I needed to be alone. They lived here with me for a couple months afterwards but my nightmares would cause my mom to run in and make sure I was alright. Or my uncontrollable cries left her hopeless, there was nothing she could do. There was nothing anyone could do. I was completely broken.
I took a quick shower, I hated being in my bathroom. All the memories I had with Justin in there and in the shower… I painted the walls and got whole new bathtub and shower. I tried so hard to erase everything, every memory. I threw my hair up in a towel to dry and put on an oversize shirt and some underwear and laid in bed. I was staring at the ceiling just thinking about everything. Today was going to be one of those days, I thought about him every day. But today I knew I was going to break and get on m my laptop and look at the hundreds of pictures we had. Every single one of them breaking my heart even more. I didn’t actually know if it was possible for my heart to break anymore. Whenever I looked at the pictures now I just went numb, there was a huge hole in my heart now. As cliché as it sounds, anyone who has had a broken heart would know. It’s a feeling that will never go away, especially when you thought you’d be with someone forever. And their gone, with just a couple of words and a slam of a door. Gone forever…
Justins POV:
I took a 30 minute shower, just trying to prolong it so I wouldn’t have to go back in my bedroom. Once I finally got out I opened my closet my mind actually starting to drift away from her. I was looking over my mentions on twitter, my fans were my support system and they always made my day.
I was grabbing a shirt and finding matching shoes when I dropped my phone. I had too many things in my hand, I dropped my outfit out on my bed and looked for my phone in the closet. I was on my hands and knees but I didn’t see it anywhere. I was reaching behind all of my shoes when I found the box.. The box of all of her things she had ever given me, clothes, gifts, iPhones, shoes, everything… how could I have forgotten about this. It must’ve been because the first few months I stared at them every single day.
