circus - joshler

_bottle_

tyler knew it wasn't the goodness of his boss's heart handing over a 1.75-liter bottle of jägermeister. it also wasn't just payment for the hateful sex that tyler had just endured from that same man, but instead, it was pete's way of trying to perk up the last trapeze artist his circus had left.

josh hadn't even been gone 24 hours yet, but still, tyler was feeling the full force of heartbreak and had nothing to cling to as no one in the troupe would have the heart enough to comfort him. tyler got nothing out of being touched by pete, either. in fact, it only made him want to crawl further out of his skin.

with all that in mind, what do weepy, hormonal boys do when there's nothing else to turn to?

some turn to getting drunk as hell to clear their inhibitions.

tyler hopped down pete's steps and the jägermeister sloshed in its bottle. he traveled along the train tracks thinking about the last time he even drank. before the night of the party with josh, he had barely touched any because he saw what it did to pete. pete didn't care about anyone when he was drunk and now tyler was longing for that feeling.

as tyler passed the bustling dining car, he realized that he might need a glass to drink out of, or maybe something to eat if he was planning on surviving whatever alcohol poisoning he would receive from later events. the metal steps carried his slouching body into the train and thrust him into the crowd of people eating an early dinner. he ignored hollers to him about where he had been for the past few days and the coincidental absence of josh.

"i'll take an empty glass, gladys. . . and maybe an apple, too, if you don't mind."

the waitress behind the counter glanced down at the bottle in tyler's hand, then the redness of his eyes, "you feelin' alright, joseph? you look like hell."

"don't worry about it. i'll take the glass and the fruit to go, though." he stopped himself from pouring out his troubles to the harsh woman staring him down and turned on his heel after she reluctantly handed over his order. brendon intervened tyler's escape from the dining car.

"woah, slow down, we haven't seen you in days, tyler. come sit with us."

tyler looked at the unfriendly group of performers at the booth and shook his head, "nah, i really gotta go, but we'll catch up later, alright?"

tyler's face was burning from the attention and the constant need to search for josh's face in a large group even if tyler knew he wasn't there.

he didn't want to take no for an answer, but the pleading desperation in tyler's eyes shut him down, so brendon lowered his voice and stepped closer to his friend, "where did josh go, by the way?"

"how did you-"

"i know you wouldn't ask wentz for booze unless you were really bummed out about something. don't worry about it. . . you can tell me about it tomorrow."

tyler wasn't planning on telling brendon at all, but he would have done anything to get back to his room. he waved a quief goodbye to the circus troupe and walked out of the dining car before he got too overwhelmed​.

after taking a few steps along the tracks, tyler stopped walking and took a bite out of the fiery red apple, before chucking it across the barren field beside him. he glanced around, feeling paranoid that someone was watching him and following his movements, but decided to ignore the sensation. next, he tossed the glass down on the gravel and subsequently popped the lid off of the jägermeister bottle to take a deep swig of the burning liquid. the alcohol stung in his chapped lips while dulling the buzzing in his head.

for a brief moment, tyler was whole again.