Life Of An American Girl....

He is so.....

I saw him and I just couldn't believe it.SEAN. He is so ....there isn't a word that can explain him.

I should probably mention this,before he left for collage I kinda had a little crush,ever since I met him.I never told anyone 'cause I always thought that would be weird to say.And we would always have these arguments,but I still liked him even thought he would tease me sometimes.

OH MY GOD,he is coming this way,what am I gonna say.Wait,what the hell is happening to me??

"Carly mom needs you to set the music,you know she wants us all to have a dance party." Sean said when he came to us.

"urggg I am telling you I am not gonna dance with dad,last time I did my feet hurt fot like 4 weeks." Carly said to him.

"Well it's either that or dancing with me." he told Carly.

"I am not dancing with you,it's just weird,even thought you can dance it's still weird to slow dance with you."she said,and I was just standing there watching the two of them having a conversation.

"Sean you remember Christina,she will dance with you,trust me she is the best dancer ever so you don't have to worry."Carly said as I looked terrified.

"Wait what,I don't think that would be a good idea." I said trying to get out of that idea.

"Yeah I remember you Christina,you've grown up.You're not that small blondie anymore." he told me.

"OK you are only 2 years older than me so there is no sense of you telling me I've grown up.And I will not dance with him Carly." I said thinking what a jerk he can be sometimes.

"Why not,maybe you're not that great of a dancer Carly says you are." he said smirking at me,and that made me just so mad.

"I came here to have dinner and spend time with Carly so I'm not gonna waste my time dancing with you.And for your information I am an amazing dancer." I said trying to make a point.

"Sure what ever you say,I am still pretty sure you're a terible dancer,if you were a good dancer you would have no problem dancing with me."

"Maybe the problem is the partner.Did you think of that?" I replied being really happy with my comeback.

"Ok you guys have some other problems you need to solve." Carly said to us,I forgot she was even there.

Even thought I am fighting with him,he still looks so cute,oh who am I kiding I really want to dance with him.And then I stared feeling something.I can feel myself starting to shake inside,tis is bad I cannot have a panic attack here,not here,please.

"I need to go to the bathroom,I'll be right back."I said while rushing into the house.

Why is this happening now,no.You see Drew is not my only sibling,well he is now.I had one more brother he was a year younger than Drew.He always admired Drew ,and that meant he would do anything to be like him.His name was Jonathan. 5 years ago they went to a party,Drew was driving.And of course like every guy at a party they drank,when it was time to go home Jonathan was pretty much drunk,he wanted to drive but Drew wouldn't let him.They came back home but mom and dad didn't hear them come in.Jonathan went to his room and so did Drew.In the morning everyone was downstairs eating breakfast,my mom told me to go wake up Jonathan.I knocked on his door but he didn't answer so I walked in.He was in his bed and I jumped on him to scare him,but he didn't wake up. I looked into his arm and I saw some pils,and I was 13 so I pretty much knew what those pills were.There was a few bottles of alcohol next to his bed and some papers with some dust on them,and then hit me.I started hitting Jonathan yelling at him to wake up,but he didn't and I just screamed.Mom,dad and Drew came running, and they were all shocked,I started crying while Drew held me.All that happened so fast I don't even know everything that happened after that.The only thing I remeber is my parents yelling at Drew,they blamed him for all that happened.l was traumatized,finding my brother dead scared me forever and l have panic attack ever since.l start feeling lonely and scared something bad will happen any second.And those panic attacks can happen at any moment.No one knows about what happend

The minute l walked into the bathroom l started crying,l couldn't control it.l was in the bathroom for 10 minutes when someone knocked on the door.l though it was Carly.

"Just a minute."l said quietly trying to fix my makeup.

"Christina,Carly told me to find you,dinner is starting." I heard Sean say.l couldn't let him see me like this.Finally l fixed my makeup hoping no one would notice.Then l walked out of the bathroom.

"Hey what happened,where you crying,your eyes are red."Sean asked with a concerned look.

Crap l forgote about my eyes.

"No it's just l got a little emotional."l said to him.

"Aww l'm sorry l didn't know that l  hurted your feeling when l told you you're a bad dancer,l didn't know l have that effect on you." he said laughing.

I smiled,that actually made me laugh.l guess he isn't an asshole all the time.We went downstairs and sat to eat dinner.He sat right next to me,l hope l don't look terrible while l'm eating.