Drawn on Chances

If Only

Alexis' POV)
"Kyaa! It's Khai-senpai!"
He's so handsome! Those cute dimples and ravishing smiles...
How I wish they were meant for me. But it's just a dream that would never be mine...

There are girls all around him again. How I wish I could be like those girls who could express freely what they feel...
Everytime he's near me, all I see is his serious face – no dimples, no smiles.
"Hey, get out of the way!"
"Khai-senpai, you look gorgeous today, will you go out with me?"
"Kyaa!"

I'm just a nobody anyway... so I guess he wouldn't even notice me as a girl. I may be his co-officer but that's just it.
"Hey Alexis, see you at the office this afternoon." Khai said then went on ahead.
I can't stand what my heart says, for it really beats for him and I can't stop it. I admire him so much that it hurts me to think that I'm just a speck of dust in his life.
"She's so lucky to be with Khai-senpai everytime." -someone
"Nah, she's just a plain officer. Khai-senpai would never pay attention to such a girl." -another girl
Yeah, they're right...

Whenever we're at the same office doing all those tons of paperwork, I always stare at him. But alas! One time he caught me.
"What are you spacing out? Finish these already!" Khai snapped at me.
"Ahh. Yes! I'll finish it right away!" I said as I fix myself up.
I am so ashamed of myself. What would he be thinking about me now?
And after that day, he started avoiding me.
If only I stopped myself from... it wouldn't turn out like this...
He's so cold to me now, I can't stand it. It's too unbearable.
But then one day, as I entered the school, I noticed that my friends are looking at me unusually. As I entered our classroom, there came a great surprise...
On my desk are three lovely roses along with a letter...
"I'm so sorry if I've been cold to you lately. I admit I've been such a jerk. I tried to hide my feelings for you because I really don't know how to tell you. Whenever you're near, you don't know how hard it is for me to stay calm.
And after that day, when I caught you looking at me, I didn't know what to feel or what to do. I'm really sorry for it. It may be too late but I would like to tell you now that I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
I know when you're reading this, I'm no longer you're schoolmate. I'll be gone Alexis...
I just want to let you know how much I love you but I guess it's time to say goodbye.

I Love you.
-Khai"

I didn't know what to feel. I started to cry.
If only I had the courage to tell him. If only I tried harder to let him feel. If only...
"Ah! Ouch!"

Somebody knocked my head. I opened my eyes and I saw my bestfriend.
"You're sleeping again Alexis! If sensei caught you, surely you'll be punished again."
What? It's only a dream?

"But you're lucky I won't tell her." <grins>
Then my bestfriend pinched my cheek. Now, I'm really awake.
He's smiling at me as I stared at him.
"Thanks Khai! Thank you for always being here with me always."