Beginning of Nothing

White Walls Metal Bed

I'm awake, but I keep my eyes closed out of habit, ready to take in the threats around me.

You're not ready. You never are.

I attempt to silence the voices in my head as I think things through. The question is where did I wake up, why am I no longer on the plane, and who brought me here.

He did.

Oh my god. My parents found me and brought me back. They knew I left. I hear the heart rate monitor speed up as my thoughts go out of control.

I helped him.

Deep breath

Nothing hurts, they didn't find you.

I take deep breaths trying to take in what's around me. It's cold, but I have blankets. It smells clean but in a threatening way. Like I'm going to be operated on and wake up a monster.

In

Out

Why am I here.

The plane.

The
Incident.

Ah. Some of my finest work.

On my last breathe I open my eyes.

White walls.

Metal bed

Blue blanket

In

Out

There are three beds in here, each one is encircled by a blue curtain that matches the blankets.

They've heard every noise you've made. Snores, moans, farts, everything.

I'm in a hospital

The one place I never wanted to be.

Once the nurses have figured out I'm awake, it doesn't take long before they want to get me out of here. Ranting about overcrowding and "fake illnesses."

They think I'm not real. How dare they.

The first few forms are straight forward and I flick through them.

Age, height, gender, weight, soulmate or lack thereof. Pretty simple.

You'll never deserve your soulmate. You're damaged merchandise

Beneath that is a series of pamphlets. How to escape from abuse. Suicide prevention. And the LONE project. I throw the first two to the side and browse the third.

LONE: Live On a Normal Earth.

Welcome to LONE.

LONE believes that Soulmates are not supposed to exists.  Come to one of our meetings and meet people like you. People who believe that love is what you make of it. Call the toll free number  below to find out  where your local LONE meets.

1800-350-8558

Oh this will be great for you. Just pretend you don't want one. That should fix your hurt

Then a second nurse, a short pudgy woman waddles over and shakes my hand. "I'm Clarence dear. What's your name?"

"Oh. Um Alex"

Stutter. Pathetic.

"Shut up."

"What was that dear? Oh well, let's get on with it. Hello Alex. As you probably  know, you were brought here directly from the airplane. " she looks away from her clipboard and up at me. Her short white curls wiggling on her head. "well we need a source of payment. This isn't England after all. Do you have any relatives living in the states dear?"

You really are fucked now.

It takes a while to remember my brother's number but I hastily scrawl it down. She smiles and leaves with a skip in her step.

All they care about is money. She doesn't care about you. No one does

As she walks away I lie back down on the bed, thinking about LONE as I drift off to sleep.

•••

"Alex?"

My ears perk at the familiar voice and I sit up. "Scotty?"

A smile. A real smile. An embrace. Laughter. Light fills the dark inside.

"Alex," tears begin to form in his eyes. Rolling down, one by one. "I'm so sorry I left you with them."

He should be sorry. That arrogant twat

The mood drops and reach to comfort him in that awkward way that you do when you don't really know the person.

Why are you comforting him? He left you to rot.

As the tears dry I see his eyes scan me. With quick motions he checks my head for damages. Finding none he moves down my body, stopping only at my wrists, wrapped neatly after the incident on the plane. Deeming none of my injuries life threatening, he moves in to examining my tattoos.

When looked at up close, My face and back are covered in thin delicate swirls and patterns that show my life story. From a distance, however, these designs form a puzzle with a single missing piece. Everyone that's seen it says it will fill in once I reach my soulmate.

If he really was your so I mate he would have saved you. He obviously knows you're worthless.

His analytical gaze makes me uncomfortable, but when he is finished I see  the love and regret in his eyes. "You're coming home with me Alex."

I snap back to attention and true to see if he is lying. "Really?"

He's joking. He hates you. Everyone does.

"Yea. It's my fault you had to come here. " he smiles. "I got a place down in Virginia you can stay with. I have a roommate, but it's a pretty big apartment."