Fucking Up A Good Woman.

the only part

Why do I always find myself in the same situation? I mean,  "relationship." I give and give up so much for that one person.. Do so much..  But I basically have to beg for attention?? WHY??  Tf..

Her (ex)  - Had a whole nigga and 4 kids and I had to find out.. Although I move to GA mainly for her.. Leaving myself broke..

Him (ex) - Dated another bitch while with me and thought that was perfectly fine..  Despite me looking out for him, keeping him on track..

Her (the ex after the first her and before him but then after him and now current "gf")- Ah man..  I couldn't wait to move in with you..  I want to do right for us and make sure we're good.. Lost my job in the midst of trying too hard.. Now,  you picked up the work and I feel like shit.. I've always been the one to do everything by myself.. I love that..  But why are you still doing this to me? Why can't I kiss you whenever I want to? Why do I have to beg my OWN gf for a kiss? And why haven't we fucked yet? Like you're fine asf and I just want you to make love to me..

Unless..  You're not sexually attracted to me..  Or you're holding my past against me..  Or you think I'm fat? Well,  I am so there's no thinking there.. But tell me why, instead of just not doing anything..  This is the same way you acted when you "had to be faithful" to your ex when we went to your house for the 4th of July Break.. Now you don't have to be faithful to nobody but me... so why tf can't I have you in the ways that I want, Amari??

See.. You don't know how to feels.
To feel lonely while being in a relationship because I always want to talk to you, hug you,  kiss you.. Oh man I just want to kiss you without begging you to kiss me..  You don't know how that feels..  You always have me here.. Waiting to be touched.. I wish you'd just,  OMG.. But I guess I'm too needy with a high sex drive..

It hurts.. Everyday.. That's all.. And IDK how to tell you.. 😢

Do you mind sharing your side?, because I'm confused.

Wait.. It's because I cut my hair isn't it? Hmm.. By the way.. See the way you ignore me when I ask you questions , you keep acting like I'm taking to the wall.. Hope you can handle the side of me that come out when I get tired of some shit..

Guess the TV and your Phone is more important huh..

Maybe..  Maybe I don't know how to be in a relationship 😱..  Just maybe people in relationships are supposed to act like friends that live together.. See how stupid that sound.. That's how what we look like..

OH!  So it is because of my past 😢.

Well when you give yourself faithfully to two people and they end up fucking you up mentally, you start to wonder if you really are worth anything since giving them all of you wasn't enough.. So you just resort to getting drunk while single.. And have a one night stand with a mfr you want noting with..

Like how could you hurt me? I've done NOTHING wrong in a relationship. I take care of y'all, that's what a gf is suppose to do man.. But ig y'all don't want that,  it's funny though because y'all claim females like me doesn't exist anyhow but look how you treat us..

What is it with her? Why can't you just stop talking to her.. Knowing I don't like it..  In the past you talked to her behind my back,  sending pictures of when y'all were together and reminiscing.  How can I be sure that you only want me when you use to make plans to see her in Albany.. And even after that,  you're still making plans to see her near Decatur.. What is it? With me?  Why can't I be fucking completely happy?!!  Why do people make me feel like I'm just here for their us until they don't want to deal with me anymore then they find another friend or person to replace me.. Why am I constantly hurting?? Why am I never enough? Jesus Christ.