L O S T || p.jm

1.

What if she hid her pain behind that smile everyone loved?

No one saw the pain. no one.

How much she wished that her problems would not affect her, in any way possible.

Everyone knew her as the happiest person, but little did they know, how much she is suffering, forcing a smile.

She would cry alone at night, it puts her to sleep.

She would not tell anyone, the thoughts that bothered her every day, every hour, every minute, every second.

That one thought.

Cliché.

Him. The one she loved.

Even if she told someone, that someone would think that she is some attention seeker.

A girl who cant move on.

A girl who is desperate for attention.

A girl who is always depressed.

A girl that is stuck with this problem called love.

Strangers to acquaintances, to friends, to best friends and finally to lovers.

And that all happened in six years.

Its hard for her.

No one understands her.

She regrets leaving him. The one person she loved most.

Sadly, she still loves him. He doesn't. That's the sad part.

She doesn't know herself. Does she still love him? Or its just that she misses him, his presence.

And.

What she truly feels.

She is confused. But who can she ask?

No one.

She couldn't hold it.

She told someone. That person told her,

"Move on. He is not worth your time. Find someone better."

They don't understand.

Why?

They have not gone through what she did,

Or put it simply that they don't care.

She tried not to talk about things related to him.

She tried.

And she finally did it.

But it still bothered her.

"Is he okay?"

"Is he thinking about me like I am?"

"Does he miss me?"

"Does he reminisce the moments that we cherished?'

"Does he still love me?"

He often neglects her text messages.

He insults her. "You're fat."

"You're so ugly."

"You only pretend to be cute and it disgusts me, honestly."

"Look at you, you look pathetic."

She couldn't describe how shocked she was, upon hearing those words that came from him.

Those painful words.

It made her feel small.

It made her feel like she was useless.

She never thought he would tell her that.

Was that how he looked at her for the past six years?

Why didn't he tell her the truth?

Everything he said, made her believe him.

He always complimented her, saying that she was pretty.

Pretty. Ugly.

She got onto her social media account. She took down all the pictures that she took of herself. All of it. Because it started to disgust her. What he said was true.

Average-sized. Fat.

She tried to lose weight. In every single way. Unhealthy or not, she tried.

She wanted to change, because he told her that she was too fat.

She did all she could. She did it because she loves him.

A lot.

Now, she hopes that he would notice her as the day passes.

She wants to see him once more.

Even if it will be the last time for them to see each other.