Heart and Mind Dump

Aftermath

With the depletion of my heart it seems as though nothing is left. All has been consumed by the happiness we lost. But all those melancholy memories are buried deep in the past now, despite my most earnest wishes for emotion. The water no longer roars like it used to and the drums have gone silent. With this comes the release that the quiet of my soul grants me. The temporary euphoria is a double barreled gun however; the knowledge that I could have done more digs the hole whilst filling back up. There was no epic quest nor ultimate goal to this, in fact we knew that no tangible goal had ever existed. Your music for me whimpered into the darkness, leaving me confused and broken. Torn between the two instances of the same existence you've forced upon me. Eternally exiled to wander through one, then the other, in an eddie of self loathing and anger. Our path seems to head in one direction, and you are content to follow without question, asking me to do the same. I want to trust you, but all my life I have been the ghost, being pushed along by any passing wind. I desperately want to take your hand and make a new way, unforeseen by anyone. But my fear of dragging you back into the whirlpool with me strikes fear into my heart. There may not be a future, but the past can live on as a shared mentillaquey for both of us to reflect upon. Wanting to move forward while longing for the past again. That is what you have cursed us both with.