I was no stranger to crying I've laughed till my eyes watered Or when I burnt myself while frying Or when someone said something that hurt
All those things are silly Either jokes or mistakes But I never knew I'd be Crying over a heartbreak
My daddy used to tell me "If a boy makes you sad Let yourself free" I never understood that
Until now, when I saw him Kissing and touching her Holding her tightly, he had a grin What happened to 'forever'?
I ran to the place we met And threw away the promise ring He said he loved me, he lied about that? A sob racked my body as I threw it away with a fling
"That cost a lot of money! What were you thinking?!" Well, that's quite funny He cares about money, not that I'm crying
"You kissed someone who isn't me What were you thinking?" He stepped away from my curled up body He looked at me as if I was disgusting
"I never meant it What else did you see?" I knew he did He looked very happy
"I saw you holding her Just get away from me, go away" I finally understood my father I'll remember everything he'll say
"Come on, babe Don't be like that.." My heart ached at the pet name I have to get used to not hearing that
"Shut up, go away!" I didn't want him to leave I wanted him to apologize and stay But I told myself looks can deceive
He never said sorry He didn't even try to get me to talk He left in what seemed like a hurry And I saw him with a skip in his step as he walked
I showed up at school They were holding hands I told myself it was cool What we had was in the past
I lied to myself, I'll never be okay After years, he does this? I have to move on, there has to be a way But my heart breaks with every kiss
So I did what I thought was right And I sat with a pair of scissors My mind and my heart were having a fight I should've listened to the haters
He was never right for me I knew that all along But I lied, to myself and to my family I repeated my words like the chorus of a song
Dragging the sharp edge against my skin It hurt more than anything Why am I letting him win? We were once each other's everything
I lost my world Metaphorically, of course I thought it was absurd Now I knew I shouldn't force
I knew there was nothing there Yet I made myself create I didn't feel butterflies when his hands stroked my hair Or when he said we were brought together by fate
So why am I so distraught After he cheated on me? It wasn't love, or so I thought Or was I too blind to see?
Finally, I didn't mind I watch them love in front of my eyes They've been together and I'm fine He doesn't need to know about my cries
Today I almost died I could've gotten hit by cars In his arms, I lied And he noticed my scars
Big mistake because he asked me about them I didn't know what to say Should I lie, or should I tell him? I don't want to scare him away
I told him the truth It was the right thing to do I kissed him on the mouth I knew I didn't have to
Perfect timing His girlfriend walks in I was caught, she was crying Why did I commit such a sin?
Now I'm in her place She's feeling what I felt I couldn't show my face More pain, I dealt
Is this the part where we date? No, he fucking hates me He told her they were met because of fate And I ruined it, but she says "No, he."
What have I done? I'm so ashamed of my actions He said I've won None of us have made any interactions
This hurt for all of us And it's all my fault Even though I loved him first I created a wound and pressed on salt
It hurt like a bitch He glared at me whenever we crossed paths My wounds wouldn't close in a stitch I felt so dirty no matter how many baths
Living with guilt isn't easy Especially when it's with two people I felt like I could never be free When did I become so feeble?
To let my body escape I allowed my soul to roam As I looked at the landscape I jumped from the rooftop of home
I actually felt happy I was leaving everything behind Every mistake I made, behind me With a smile, I say "I'm fine."
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HAZEL MAE
So! How'd you guys like this one?
I'm actually fresh out of a seven-month relationship that started more than a year ago. Make sense? Idk. Anyways, I feel like absolute shit because I kinda left her for someone else? I mean, the 'someone else' said she liked me back but after I told her we broke up she said she doesn't like me anymore. And now, she thinks she ruined my relationship and my ex girlfriend keeps giving me shit because she found out the girl I kinda left her for doesn't like me anymore.
Yeah, I'm sorry if you guys don't care for my personal life, I just had nowhere else to let it out, so yeah. I'm single. And it's the first time I initiated a breakup for something I've been through twice. I know how much it hurts and I always told myself I'd never do something like that to someone I love especially, or to anyone at all, but I did. I can't face myself yet I can't escape from beneath my skin.
Anyways, yeah, so I'm just a lame sad ass you guys dismiss me and have fun goodbye
