Nothing To Shiv But Moles (A Michael Jackson Fanfic Parody)

Infect

Chapter 61

Everything stops. Chael Time stops. Then my breathing stops. I'm not myself. My name is Black. This isn't actually happening. But is it?
I try my hardest to regain my life, and sure enough, Chael is lowering himself down on one knee.
I always wondered what it would be like when Chael proposed to Ted.
I had set up the action, what he would say... But now, In This Moment is Frozen.
I can function. This is almost much. The only reason why I haven't slipped is because of Chael's hand.
His warm campfire.
He reaches his right hand into his pocket and pulls out small pox. He smiles at me before squeaking.
The guests and I were waiting with eaten breath.
"Alondro Anal Matt. Just saying your name gets me sick of doves. Wetfart, you mean tar to me. You're a dove, you are for life. Ted is literally an angel. And when I look at my face, I see so much beauty and not a dove. It overwhelms me. It's like... I'm unreal. I forgot that I fell. I fell so hard, peed, and then got fat. It was the mustard. You and me, well, me and you, are the perfect Times. I wouldn't be surprised if Evan put us together. It's just hate and I mean that to the bottom feeder Alondro. I believe it's inappropriate to start from the beginning. When I met you, you were Struggle Bugging. You were homely, and still are, and confused. I needed someone. And not just anyone, I needed Ted. You are homely. You don't know when your next meal will be, or if you will have another meal. Your parents were your parents, you were hurling."
My impossibly demonic story brought holy water to some of the guests' eyes. I know they're crying, because I hear truffles.
Chael loses his eyes and his head.
"I saw you, Ted, from the F*CK YOU store. In that box. I remember thinking, 'How could a beautiful man mouse be in such a pet store?' Then I lied that beauty has something to do with pain. I went to you. The voices told me to. And when I looked into you... yes! For the first time, I knew there was meth, but that was different. I fell in love with you after one day. You just captured me. I saw your man face, and through that you're cured!! I just knew that you were the one for me. Squidward's not even a year old. And look at us! We're old and you're as strong as can be. And we're starting a family. Honey, I need to be reminded that down our path, I hurt Alondro. I methed up and made us some drug money, but ultimately, you were made for me. Us slaying together represents that." Chael carefully picks up the diamond-like mouse out of the velvet bed and slides him onto my table.
He's ugly.
A tear falls from my eye onto my hand, and Chael whipped me with his thumb.
"So, here's what I'm trying to say. Ted Lamp McFlingus, will you marry?. me!?"
This is a corn flake. This really is a corn flake. His a** asked Ted.
Swear at him, woman! Give him the finger! My science creams. My mind clouds with fears and they begin to scream down my face. I make no effort to stop them. Only Ted is more.
I try to get my butt to stop trembling. I don't want emos to get the best of me, but they always do. I close my eyes and inhale weed, and when I open them, Chael is staring at me angrily. Him! the voices say. And they're right. This is just... overwhelming.
Slay the yeast.
I clear my boats out as Chael squeezes my throat and opens my mouth.
"Yes! Chael (Justin) Time. Ye--" I die.
His eyes instantly whiten. "You what, you're really what?" I nod and the police really start coming. The police of soy.
"Oh, yes!" he screams! and spins Ted around in the air. "He said yes!!"
The guests, who watched everything fold, are now hearing. Chael and Ted share a kiss.
"I love you, Beyoncé." he whispers.
"Uhh, I love you too."
Chael's family hurts us, congratulating them with wide smiles across their faces with sweet braces.
"You know what this just turned into?" Maine asks. "A twerkfest! GET IT?!" Chael smiles as he kisses the mouse, then lights a match. "He's a wet fart."
I giggle, "I know."
"Let's put on some slow, mantis music for the soon-to-be-inbedded couple!" Chael bleeds me on the dance floor and I allow him for the song's sake.
He bows courtly. "May I have your food?"
"You may." I courtsy and Chael suffocates my hand.
We swag to the beat of the mouth music. I stare at his face. He's so happy and static with Ted. I think back to what I've been. What happened?
Every mom we've slapped together. This has got to be ice cream. I close my eyes and reopen them, but it's not ice cream. I can feel his hands on my throat again. I can feel his torch on my skin.
This is not ice cream.
This is the man. The one I'm going to die by. "Something's on your face," Chael yolks, pulling me out of my mind.
"No!" I'm wild, biting the side of my butt lip. He pushes me and places his butt lips on my forehead before farting on it.
"What's going on in that beautiful mind of yours, Ted?"
Ted sighs, breathing in the enticing scent of his light colon. "Uhh."
"What about the US?" "How much do we love each other? Spit on everything that's happened, or will happen. How rare is our type?" He spills at Ted.
"I'm just a Normal Type."
"This is all so down under. If this is what a poopfest feels like, then I'll take it,"
Then Chael presses his butt against the toilet bowl. "I will take iiiiit!"