How Does It Feel? (EVANSTAN)

How It Began

Hey, so this is a story that I myself have connected through. God bless yee. -Pan

I paced around the room. God, why? I told myself I won't let this happen again, but it happened. Why am I so careless?  I woke from my thoughts when I heard my phone go off. I stopped pacing and stared at the phone. Should I check it? What if it's him? My anxiety got the best of me and I started breathing more heavily. I cautiously walked over to my phone, closing my eyes as I open the screen. I peered from one eye to see the only notification was from my email account, notifying me that my plane trip was settled.

I sighed and put my head in my hands.

*Flashback*

I looked over at Sebastian as he laughed, throwing his head back because of the joke I had told him. His smile was huge and his eyes were shut, little wrinkles forming. His hair was all messy and he just looked handsome. We had gotten back from the haircut place, his hair being shorter than it originally had been before. 

Once he caught his breath he knelt down to take some more deep breaths. He grabbed my shoulder and smiled, exhaling into the cold, Brooklyn air. I couldn't help but smile widely at him. He looked too precious for this world. We were standing on the bridge, the sunset becoming visible. That's when it happened. My best friend since we were kids had decided to take my heart. I didn't know it at first, but it just felt right.

I stopped and looked out from the bridge, then back at Sebastian. He was looking out on the water as I looked at him. He glanced over at me and we kept eye contact. I watched as the orange lighting took his facial features to a whole new, beautiful level. I moved my eyes from his to observe and take everything about him in.

For a moment, I thought I felt him scoot closer. I moved my eyes from his jaw line to his eyes again, the tension building up. I took a step closer to him, his body heat radiating off to me. We were inches away from touching, our eyes in deep conversation. I slowly let my hand move to his cheek, letting my fingers glide against his jaw. he started breathing more shallowly and so did I.

I moved my eyes from my hand to his eyes, my face closer to his now. He moved closer so our lips were brushing each other's and I closed my eyes, finally breaking the tension by kissing him. I grabbed his face and pressed my body against his, savoring the taste of his lips. He groaned and pulled away, moving out of my grasp. 

He put his head in his hands and sighed.

"Chris.... what... what was that?" He said, looking over at me. I felt tears brim my eyes as I realize where this put our friendship. I put my hands in my hair and pulled slightly. 

"I-I'm so sorry, Seb, I- I don't know. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, agh," I started to feel my hands shake and my breathing start to get faster. Sebastian noticed and walked over to me, shaking me by the shoulders.

"Hey, hey, calm down. Chris, look at me," Sebastian said, finding my panicked eyes. He grabbed my face and kissed me. I did not expect that. He moved his hands to my neck and moved his fingers to my hair, pulling. I moaned by accident, making Sebastian smirk into the kiss. 

Here's where everything goes wrong. 

Sebastian pulls away, smiling at the ground, but then the smile disappears. His face is full of regret, making me start to panic again. He looks up at me and frowns.

"Did we just mess up our friendship, Chris?" He asks, looking into my eyes for an answer. Honestly, I didn't have one. I just stood there, staring at him. He looked away and clenched his jaw. He simply walked away, leaving me standing there on the bridge, letting my heart crumble to pieces. 

Oh Seb, what did I just do?

Thanks for all who enjoyed the first chapter of "How Does It Feel?"! I hope you all come back for more, for I will start updating daily, if not, maybe a couple days a week! Thanks again! -panpan