Forgetting How to Remember

As my eyes stayed locked on the setting sun outside my window, I wondered if I was dreaming. Surely, I had to be. No one seemed to acknowledge his existence. But he was here. I knew he was, though everyone said he wasn’t…that I was crazy for thinking so. But how could I have imagined everything that we had done together? The answer was simple: I couldn’t.

The question still remained. Why had everyone but me completely forgotten who Jaxon was? I could see it in their eyes. They truly had no memory of him. I did. My heart ached at the memory of him. He was real. He had to be.

It had been nearly two weeks since I’d seen Jaxon and I had no clue where he was now. Although I’d always known that we really couldn’t be together, I wasn’t prepared to lose him like this, to have him ripped out of my life with nothing left behind to remember him by. Lost in the thought of him, I sat on my bed for a few more minutes before heading downstairs. Entering the kitchen, I caught sight of my mom at the table, but I couldn’t bring myself to acknowledge her and she certainly wasn’t planning on acknowledging me. I heaved an involuntary sigh as I contemplated the kinds of things I would normally do around this time of day. My options were severely limited.

I considered sneaking out through the back door of the house but then thought better of it. I didn’t want to risk getting caught by the town guards who were most likely patrolling the streets. Suddenly, an idea formed in my mind. Yes, I thought, This time I’ll find him. The excitement threatened to overwhelm me as I hurried back to the stairs, eager to put my plan into action…eager to see him again.

“And where are you going off to in such a rush?” I froze. I could feel my heartbeat quickening at the sound of my father’s voice. I hadn’t even noticed him enter the room. Why now? Why did he have to choose now to be observant? I plastered a fake smile on my face as I turned around to face him.

“I’m just going to my room,” I told him in the calmest voice I could manage. I kept my eyes in contact with his, waiting until he gave me a slight nod. I continued my pursuit up the stairs, slower this time so I don’t raise any suspicion. Once in my room, I shut my door quickly and sprang into action. I changed out of my clothes, trading them for something lighter, easier to run in. Glancing around, a sharp pang of sadness overwhelmed me. What if he’s not there? In all of my eagerness to find him, I hadn’t thought there was a possibility that I wouldn’t be able to find him. That realization was starting to hit me now. There was definitely a possibility that I would reach my destination only to find myself alone, surrounded by nothing but bittersweet memories of the two of us together. I closed my eyes and pushed the thought away. This wasn’t the time for distractions.

Picking up my flashlight, I scanned the room for anything that I might need. My eyes lingered on the empty space on my nightstand that once held a picture of Jaxon and me. There was nothing in its place now. I couldn’t help the wave of longing that passed through me then. I needed to see him. With that, I opened my window as far as it would go and slowly, carefully, climbed down the wall, placing my feet in the exact spots I’d planned. In no time at all, I could feel the soles of my feet hit the ground. And then I ran.

I looked back for a second, just to make sure I wasn’t being followed by any guards. Luck was with me tonight. So I kept running, heading toward the middle of town. It was the only way I’d be able to get to our place and so I stuck to my plan and hoped that I could pass through the town without falling prey to the guards.  There weren’t that many people out given the fact that it was almost curfew and I couldn’t decide if that was bad or good. Fewer people meant I could pass through the town faster, but it also meant that I stood out more easily.

The worst thing possible happened then. The sound of a guard yelling at me to stop rang throughout the streets. I pushed my legs to run harder, convincing myself that I could make it to our place without getting caught. The guard’s cries were persistent, but I couldn’t tell how far away from me he was. Out of curiosity, I glanced behind me to evaluate the distance between the guard and me. It only took a second, but a second was all that was needed.

My body slammed into someone else’s and I stumbled backwards, catching myself before I fell. With an apology already forming on my lips, my eyes lifted to the man’s face and I sucked in a breath at the sight.

“Jaxon?” I asked him, my voice barely above a whisper. Without thinking, I threw myself at him, desperate for closeness after all this time. As I realized he wasn’t moving, I pulled back and gazed at his face, but he didn’t look happy or relieved. He looked confused.

“Jaxon. Jaxon, it’s me! Please, Jaxon just look at me! I’m here!” I pleaded, begging him to remember me. The guard caught up with me then and began to pry me off of Jaxon, but our eyes stayed locked, his full of confusion and mine full of desperation.

As the guard dragged me farther away, I saw Jaxon’s eyes light up and he started running towards me with a longing I knew all too well. He remembered.

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Hey guys! This is just a short story that I wrote for class that I thought I would share with you! I hope you liked it! And please comment and vote if you did!

Amanda <3