A Bundle of Words

Jealousy

Jealousy is a burden

I haven't met a
single person
who has claimed
that they were
never jealous before
Not a single soul
on this earth
has been secured
by the thought
of envy,
including myself

I promise you
the little kids,
the ones who scurry around
on the playgrounds,
squealing happily
and playing with their best friends,
will not
be protected
by the anxiety
of wanting to be
the same
as someone
else

I remember
when I was younger,
I would always
compare myself
with the others around me.
I felt out of place,
like I didn't
quite belong.
I wanted to be
like everyone else,
but I wasn't
like everyone else.
I kept myself at a distance
from everyone around me,
just staring at them

Oh
the bitterness I felt
when I saw them
play with all of their friends.
And there I stood,
by myself,
alone
To this day
I still don't remember
if I enjoyed being alone or not

Jealousy is a burden

To be living
every breath
everyday
just dreaming
to be the perfect person

You don't look at what you have
or who you are,
instead
you
admire your
idol,
and drool
as you kiss
the ground they walk on

You would watch movies
over
and
over
again
just to see that person,
and you try
to picture
yourself
in their shoes

But you
don't see,
You

You want to be
just
like them,
you look at what you
don't have,
what makes you look
"ugly"
rather than what makes
you
unique

Trying to put together
the pieces of
yourself into a
different order
the picture becomes
disoriented
and almost
not human
but you
force yourself
to like the way
you want to be
and you
never become
the person you were
meant to become

Jealousy is a burden...