Poems for the mentally ill

'People you may know'

~ Sexual assault ~    Spoken word/free flow 

People you may know, a popular feature on that popular app known simply as; Facebook.  A feature to connect us with anyone who may have walked into our lives, and back out again. An easy way to know what people are doing, without actually knowing what they're doing. Without asking. 

 I did not know him, but he knew me. Yes - he'd walked into my life. He'd walked into my life and thrown it upside down, he'd forced his way into my body and into my brain and although physically he left, mentally he remained. He remained and he's still there now. I was a person he may know.

and he was back

He was back once again, without asking - once again. 

People you may know. He was a person I may know. I recognised him but I did not know him.

click

Onto his profile. 

A picture of him holding a fish, a fish he'd plucked from the stream like it was his to take and to present proudly. Gripping it firmly in his large hands as he smiled triumphantly at the camera. Underneath someone had commented 'lad' congratulating him on taking what wasn't his to take, so easily stealing it from where it was once swimming peacefully.

click

His hand slithered carefully around a girls back. Not low enough to be intrusive but a little to low to be considered comfortable. She was wearing a short dress, an invitation. He was holding a beer, a reminder that he was indeed ' a lad.' 

click

This one was different. He's wearing a suit and next to him sits an elderly lady. A funeral, his grandpa's funeral. His smile is smaller, less cocky, he looks humble in the presence of his family, dare I say.. normal. As I study the picture I begin to think I'm getting to know the boy behind the pictures until I notice, his eyes glare just off camera, his lips aren't straight as I first thought but they're smirking. He's smirking at someone, or maybe he's smirking at a memory. Desperate to remember he's a 'lad' even in an event that is desperate for him to forget. 

click

onto his profile now. He'd shared a viral video of a boy being beaten up at school. Underneath.. a quote that reads ' Snitches get stitches' a silent message, he knows. Further down is a picture of a pretty girl leaning on a pretty car and then a message from his mother that reads simply 'be safe.' Be safe, as if its him who needs to protect himself. As if its him who will be checking he has his pepper spray planted tightly in one hand and his panic alarm in the other. As if its him who will be checking every inch of skin is covered and that he hasn't left his drink unoccupied for even a minute. 

beep

A friend notification. It's him, he wants to be my  'friend.' I'd laugh if I wasn't so surprised. He wants to be associated with me? for everyone to see? The idea of letting him see what I do every day, letting him lurk in the corners of my profile like he does already in the corners of my mind makes me shiver.

So as i sit there and I stare at those words; 'People you may know' I do not feel fear because this time, this time i have a choice, this time he asked. This time I say no, I say reject, deny, delete, I DON'T KNOW YOU and you don't know me. You will never know me.