1pre-teen 2 friendships and 3 BFF's

chapter 3

Journal Entry 2: 8/26/11

So do you remember how earlier today I said I was going to come back and talk about something MORE "DEEP" well here it is .......

I know this may seem mean. but Mrs.Colemen DON'T judge!!

 I hate Kari!!!! she hurt Journey even after she said she was sorry now I don't even know why Journ's would be best friend's with her !!! she said sorry I mean... If i was in that situation with her i would have forgiven .....But of course I wasnt in that situation.

Well that was my deepness

Yea My life is pretty normal as you see Mrs.Colemen, But that's all you'll get from me. -Over and Out , Susy :)

I finished my entry .and it filled my whole page I was pretty impressed I never write big but I felt mad about what happened today ......

5:20 that was what my watch read .

I didn't want to go to Journeys house I was frightened of what she was going to say to me ... She hasn't ever trusted me with the truth, in a matter that makes it worse this time we havent spoken in a while so I was just.............. anxious .

I sat in the car feeling my goosbumps It was cold but I felt to lazy to change the temperature. " So Susy ... arent you gonna tell me why all of a sudden your going to Journey's house.. I thougt you two haven't spoken in months .. What happened? "My mom whspered  not even looking at me. She raised and eyebrow and said "Well...? arent you gonna tell me?" " Um mom... Journ's had to talk to me about someting.... I dont know uhh what..." I said not finishing my sentence, I was interrupted." Susy ... you know please do not get caught up- again ..... you trust people to easily and....... i know how sad you were all summer because Journey wasn't around ... so.... I'm just saying .... be carefull.. I dont want to see you hurt again.." " Mom don't worry I wont " I said trying to sound confident but my voice was to shaky to believe.

 We arrived at Journey's house only but a minute later . I stepped out of the car and felt a warm breeze hit my cheeks.I turned around towards the car and looked at my mom,you could see sympathy hidden in the sparkle of her eyes . I said I'd be fine and that I'd call her to pick me up soon. She nodded ,and i closed the door behind me.

I watched the car reach the corner of the street and see it disappear before me. I felt week, my legs could't move but I knew i had to make them. I slowly walked up the steps and reached the door. I rang the doorbell . " Susy ! why did you have to ring the doorbell so quickliy!! ohh god now what??!............."  

"Susy? ahh hey... " I herd someone say not finishing their sentence."Is that you Journ's ?? Hello you there?" I said trying to peek in through the window on the front door. The door swung open almost hitting my face but missed by an inch. "Whoa.... ha ? hey yea it's me .... come in" she said quitely not looking at me."Ok".i said.

I fallowed Journey, forgeting where her room was even though I've been in her house a thousand times. She led me up the stairs and stopped at the first room on the right. She didn't open it but just stood blankly staring at the door. I decided to open it after a few minutes, I slowly turned the knob and opened the door.

 You could see pictures of Journey,Kari and Genny everywhere she also hung little charms that represented each one of them .A gem for Genny a rose for kari and a smiling mushroom for Journey.In the pictures They were all posing , one of the picture was hung dead center in the middle of a wall that was facing the bed. The sight of them in here having a blast laughing, joking around,telling seacrets hurt me.... I thought.... I just thou...... I thou......... that maybe me ang Journey .....me and Journey were closer to each other than anybody...... but.... I thought.... I thought wrong.

I paced around the room and iin the corner of my eye I saw a picture that was taken a year ago. It was me and Journey making silly faces at the camera.It was in the top left corner of her vanity mirror hidden by dozens and dozens of piles of pictures.I took it of the mirror and looked at it very hard trying to remember that day, but I couldn't.. I closed my eyes and without even knowing I was crying felt something wet and warm falling down my face. They were tears,,,,,,, I haven't cried in years and this was the very first time i've done it infront of anyone but my mom.

I started sniffling and herd someone whispering something in my ear.." Susy I'm ...I'm sorry .... I hope you can forgive me I ..... just.... I .. dont even know what to say..." "Then dont say a thing ...... I missed having a friend. you were ... I thought...someone .. I could trust and never... hurt me...But ..I should have seen it coming..."I said feeling as if my heart just shattered .

All my life every relationship i've had has always ended up with me either being betrayed,forgotten,or pushed aside. I .. just .. wish things would be different for once.

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Picture of Journey under multimedia!