Of Lions, Wolves, and Dragons (Jon Snow)

42. Warden of The North

Jon exited the lift before Joellyn and led her to where they would be having supper, as well as all of their meals as long as Joellyn was with them at Castle Black.  Joellyn just followed quietly behind.  They both were feeling awkward after he caught her to keep her from falling.  She knew exactly why she was feeling awkward, but she couldn't help but wonder if his sudden change in mood was for the same reason.

It brought Joellyn a sense of peace to know that Jon had moved on and fallen in love with someone else in the years that separated them.  It reminded her that the world continued to grow and change, but there was an underlying feeling she was just not comfortable with yet.  The only thing she could pinpoint it as was jealousy.  Ygritte, this wilding girl, was able to love Jon and be with him.  Her father would never have allowed her to be with Jon in that way, even if he had not taken the black.  Jon was Ned Stark's bastard and she was the daughter of Tywin Lannister.  She was meant to marry someone like Robb or Oberyn, not a bastard...at least that's what her father would have told her if she had ever mentioned the idea of being with Jon.

That was not the only thing she was feeling, either.  Oberyn had said he wanted her to love again and move on, but how long had it really been since he died?  She lost track in all of the time on the road with Brienne and Podrick and she was still mourning his loss every day.  Yet, these feelings for someone else, which she once had hoped to develop and see where they would lead her, were developing again much too quickly.  They had only just arrived at Castle Black today.  This had been the first conversation she and Jon had held in years.  How was it possible that she still felt like the same 16 year old girl at Winterfell, even after being happily married to Oberyn?  She felt ashamed and guilty, like she was betraying Oberyn and the love they shared.

Joellyn became aware that Jon had stopped to open a door for her, so she bowed her head in thanks and passed by.  Crossing the threshold into the dining hall was the first time Joellyn realized how cold she had gotten on the top of the wall.  It had been a beautiful view, and if she ever saw Tyrion again she would have to tell him as much, but her limbs, fingers, toes, and face were all hurting with exposure to the heat of the dining hall.

She sighed as she let out a shiver, causing Jon to come to a stop besider her and ask, "I did not even think to ask if you were warm enough," then removed his heavy outer cloak and placed it gently around her shoulders as he said, "Here, this will help you warm more quickly."

She felt her face flushed, embarassed that he was showing her this attention, as she argued meekly, "But you will be cold."

Jon squeezed her shoulder softly, causing heat to rise to her face, as he said, "You forget that I am of the North.  I will be fine." 

Joellyn smiled, still slightly embarassed at his attention and her reaction, but nodded as she said, "Thank you, Jon."

He smiled in return as he said, "Of course," then continued looking at her for a moment before nodding in the direction of the fire, "You should go warm yourself."

Joellyn pulled the cloak tightly around her and nodded as she headed over to the seat nearest the fire.  She looked around the dining hall for the first time and was relieved to see that she and Jon, other than a random man setting out food, were the first to have arrived.  No one had been there to see her act a fool and blush just because Jon was being nice to her.

While Joellyn sat warming herself and stewing in her mess of emotions, it did not take long for Brienne, Podrick, Sansa, Edd, and Tormund to join them in the dining hall.  As she saw them enter, she stood and crossed the room to join them, stopping by Jon first to return the cloak to him.

Jon shook his head and laughed under his breath before saying, "You should keep it a bit longer.  Your lips are still blue, and I don't want to have to send word to your brothers that I let you freeze to death."