Apocalypse [Pentatonix AU | Kavi / Scomiche]

Chapter 17 - Wavering

Kirstie's eyes followed Avi as he walked across the yard toward Jessica. She felt jealousy pulse through her as Jessica placed a hand on his chest in order to stop herself from laughing at whatever it was he was saying. Every part of Kirstie yearned to be the one touching his chest, to be the one to hear his witty jokes, to be the one by his side.

But instead she was on the opposite end of the yard, Matt by her side, babbling something probably less valuable than gibberish in her ear. He seemed oblivious to the fact that she couldn't be any less interested.

"...it was insane, everyone dead, just like that," she finally heard him saying. "Worst day of my life. The pain of that day, oh man. Pretty bad. Almost as bad as getting bit. Never thought I'd actually get bit, but I feel like maybe I thought it would've been worse than it actually-"

"Matt," Kirstie cut him off. "Would you mind getting the waters? I left them inside."

"Of course!"

Kirstie sighed as he rushed away, turning back to watch Jessica and Avi. Poor Matt seemed too good for this world. She almost pitied him. Meanwhile, Jessica was staring at Avi with a seductive smile, causing envy to flood Kirstie's senses once again.

The envy and jealousy only led to self hatred. Kirstie knew she had absolutely no right to want to be with Avi, especially since she was the one who'd essentially told him nothing could happen. She just didn't realize it would hurt this bad.

Would the pain of betraying Jeremy be worse?

"You seem focused," a familiar voice chimed in Kirstie's ear.

She looked over to see a smiling Mitch, who handed her a bottled water. He seemed especially happy this week, which helped Kirstie feel even somewhat happy in turn. She'd liked Mitch from the moment she met him.

"Thanks," she said, sipping the water.

"You know, you should give him an answer now, before he starts reading things wrong."

"What?" Kirstie asked, her thoughts immediately going to Avi.

"Matt. C'mon, you must know that he's obsessed with you."

"Oh. I didn't notice."

"Try not to break his heart, he's a nice guy."

"Maybe too nice for his own good."

"Mm."

The two looked over toward the rest of the group, who was now starting to make their way back across the yard toward them, with Mitch's eyes landing on Scott and Kirstie's on Avi. Kirstie and Mitch were both aware of who the other was in love with, but neither had brought up the topic yet. They seemed to have a mutual understanding that it was something that neither one wanted to talk about it. 

"Oh, you already got a water," Matt said as he returned to Kirstie's side, bottled waters in both hands. Kirstie and Avi locked eyes just as he said it.

What she did next she regretted instantly.

"Awe, thank you anyway Matt!" It didn't even sound like her voice. She reached up and placed her fingers on his jaw, tilting his head in her direction, then planted a soft kiss on his cheek just as Avi passed her. She knew he'd seen it.

But it felt so completely wrong.

Matt was blushing, a giant goofy smile on his lips. He laughed nervously, looking at her with infatuated eyes. Kirstie cleared her throat uncomfortably, trying to ignore Mitch's appalled stare.

"Um, I think I'd better take a shower," she said, giving an awkward nod before rushing inside. The entire experience was completely humiliating. Even though it wasn't on the lips, it was the first time she'd kissed a man since Jeremy. She couldn't believe she wasted it on Matt.

She felt absolutely horrible as she walked into the prison, but her guilt took a brief hiatus and curiosity took its place after she heard her someone mention her name from down the hallway.

"...Kirstie?"

"Yeah, fine."

It was clearly Avi and Scott having a conversation. Kirstie's inquisitiveness got the best of her, and she backed around the corner of the room so that she could continue to listen without them seeing her.

"You sure?" Scott was saying. "Look man, if you don't want to talk about it I completely understand, but I'm sure whatever it is that's going on between you two can be resolved."

Avi laughed, but it was empty. "It's not that easy Scott."

"Sometimes it is."

"Not this time. But anyway, it doesn't matter. Things really are fine between us. And anyway, she's spending most of her with Matt now. I'm pretty sure they're together."

"You serious?"

But they'd turned the corner into the other corridor and gone out of earshot, making it impossible for Kirstie to hear the end of the conversation. Instead of following them, she stood dead still, staring blankly at the concrete ahead of her.

Avi had sounded so hurt and betrayed, and that just broke her. She didn't know what satisfaction she thought she'd receive by making Avi jealous, but whatever it was that she expected, she wasn't experiencing it. Instead all she felt was guilt and shame.

"Hey, do you have a problem?" a woman said from behind Kirstie, causing her to jump and quickly wipe the tears that were brimming in her eyes.

She turned to see Jessica, arms folded across her chest.

"Sorry, what?"

"I noticed you kept looking at Avi and I on the field today. I was just wondering if there was a problem."

"I was just looking in that general direction," Kirstie lied defensively. "So no, there's no problem." 

Jessica didn't seem to notice her tear stains through the dim lighting, which was good. Kirstie had gotten a bad vibe from Jessica since day one, regardless of the fact that she was in love with Avi. She never wanted Jessica to see her in a state of weakness.

Jessica was unconvinced. "Sure, okay. Just let me know if there is, alright?"

She turned away, tossing her long mousy hair over her shoulder. Kirstie scowled in her direction, allowing her hatred toward Jessica cloud her other emotions.

If there was one person here she'd have to keep an eye on, it was definitely her.