A Chance

prologue

I woke up this morning with this unbearable pain in my chest. Memories flashes like lightning and I started to feel regret, pain, regret, and pain. I wish I had a time turner to make everything fine, I wish I didn't do something wrong that would totally tear us apart.
"You'll be fine, Alise." I told myself hoping to make things better. All I want to do is to sleep away my pain. He's too good to me but all I did is take him for granted and throw away his love. I don't know who hates me the most, him or myself? All this time I never thought I would do such thing knowing that it'll hurt him. We're like tugging a rubber band, both of us slipping its grip and end up hurting the other one.
A game, I thought all along I'm in a game where I can easily press quit if I don't find things around me hard to pass and yet here he is seriously playing my game not knowing he'll die in the end.
"I understand if you won't let me in again." I mutter as tears started to pool around my eyes. I can feel it burning but nothing can compare to the pain I feel in my heart. I used to go back to those days where we're both happy and having no care about the world. You did burn our photo knowing that those smiles can't be back to where it was, staring at it is like staring into oblivion.
I hope I can change time. Here I am asking for your forgiveness, no matter how many times it would take me to say sorry the pain and bad memories will always be etched in your mind. How would I say this? This feeling and thought that flooded my mind yet I can't even spill a single drop.
Then you came around saying "I will miss holding your hands." I can't say a thing but I had a lot of things to tell you. It's hard to express myself towards you.
"I miss you." The only word I manage to tell you but I hope you can feel everything from it.