Love In The Lights (Harry Styles)

Chapter 15

*WARNING THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTION OF ABUSE AND SELF HARM. DO NOT READ IF THESE ARE SENSITIVE SUBJECTS FOR YOU.*

Vanessa's POV

"Aw, thank you love, even though I think I am supposed to be winning you the stuffed animal."

I laughed as we walked away from skiiball; are hands in lock, swinging back and forth.

"Maybe next time."

"Oh, so you're implying that we will be going out again?" Harry smirked.

"Maybe.."

It was now 3:15 and we were pretty tired of the Carnival. We decided to start our little picnic.

Harry went to the car to get everything while I searched for the perfect place. Luckily, I found a fairly large tree that had just enough shade for the both of us.

I walked over and looked around. There was a little park nearby that had a few small kids there with their parents. Looking over, I saw Harry in the distance, walking over to me. Once he proceeded to get closer I helped him with all the stuff he had.

"I brought your bag and purse because I didn't know which one you'd like." Harry said handing them to me. "Thank you."

We started laying out the dark blue blanket and a few throw pillows that Harry packed.

I smiled as I held up the Hello Kitty pillow. "Really?" Harry looked up, defensively he replied, "What? Don't you still like Hello Kitty? Even though I prefer Whinny, I supposed since I would be spending the day with you, why not get her a Hello Kitty pillow yeah?"

I smiled and blushed " Harry, you didn't have to do that; go and get a brand new Hello Kitty pillow just for me."

"Yeah, I know. I just thought it would make you smile. I love seeing you happy.." I looked back up at Harry. Staring into his eyes, God. How did all of this Happen to me?

I collapsed on the blanket, covering my face with my hands. I started crying, I felt Harry lay down next me and gently pulling my hands away.

"Love, why are you crying?" I sighed; opening my eyes. I sat there and looked up at the sky, or at least of what I could see anyways.

"I don't deserve you, I am too fucked up emotionally." I said, not feeling any more warm tears fall from my eyes. I am tired of crying. I am tired of being unhappy.

"Vanessa what do you mean?" Harry asked. I didn't even have to look at him to know he was completely confused about well, everything.

I sighed. Refusing to look at him, I decided it was time to tell him everything.

"For 3 years," I paused, breathing in. "I was in an abusive relationship. Zac, he started doing drugs and it changed him. He became so possessive over me, and he would get so mad everytime I would do, anything really;" I paused, " It all started when I was at the gym, he complemented me saying, 'You must be really flexible.' That is the reason I kind of, broke down a while ago. That same day, he hit me, he said he would never do it again but he did. He did so many times." I felt Harry's eyes on me as my tears came back. But I still laid there, motionless. Not even caring anymore.

"Just because I didn't want to have sex with him, he felt the need to hit me. After that, it just got worst. The more I rejected him, the more abusive he became. He started hitting me daily, sometimes when he was stressed, when he was high, when I stood up for myself; God he hated that. He started cheating on me too. And when I found out, he turned the situation around and made me feel like it was my fault. He made me fell horrible about it. At first, he said that it was because I was fat, he said no one wanted a fat girl. Trying to change, I stopped eating. If I did eat, I would try to throw it back up or just eat a little bit. But over time, I realized it was because I refused to have sex with him. Usually, he would make up an excuse as to why he didn't come home that night.. But that stopped."