Purity

Step One: Hatred

Have you ever felt like you have lost the fight to continue? Is there something inside you that wants to get out, but you feel like you can't let it? Have you ever changed in such a way that those you love have lost that love? All because of something that has happened in your life, that will haunt you for days, you have become someone that has grown tired, angry, and pure. However, this purity is not a good purity. This purity is in you, and you're scared. You want no harm. You want peace. You want help. But the help you can get, may hurt those you love. You mean nothing by it, but yet the pain, the purity of it, changes things for you. You begin to look at those in your life, and sometimes ask why not them instead. What do you do? You grow a feeling inside of you. It starts to bubble up. This feeling is called hatred. Hatred is a human emotion that is so pure that it lingers. You're never born with it, you learn to live with it. It all starts at one point in which something happens but yet, you get no help from anyone, so you hold it in. This is where hatred is born. You hate the fact that those you always helped, wouldn't help you. And that thought travels with you for the rest of your life. You trust no one to help you. You forget what it is to ask for help and you work at it alone. Brianna doesn't realize what is growing inside of her, but when she does, it will be too late. She will learn hatred. She will become pure. All it takes is just a little push. Let us begin Brianna.

That voice is talking again. Why is it saying all of this? Can anyone else hear it? Where did it come from?
"Brianna, I said to get your fucking work done now!" He says to me. My dad is such an asshole. "Dad, I literally just got this work and I got to not just read this book, I gotta go page by page, looking for good quotes because of the group discussion on Friday." I tell him scornfully. He looks at me, filled with rage and anger. He walks up to me as if he was going to hit me, but I know he won't. "You can read through it in like two days, then look for quotes." How stupid can he be? "LOOK DAD, IM TIRED OF THIS. YOUR SISTER HAS CANCER. SHE STOPPED WITH THE THERAPY BECAUSE ITS NOT WORKING. She is going to DIE. Don't you get that? I don't care about my work. I'm going to do what I need to to and I'll do it the way I was asked to do it, because let's be honest, you don't care about my feelings. But guess what, I'm a teen with feelings. Not every teen has no feelings. We all do. Just because you're an adult doesn't mean you can talk down to me as if I'm not also in pain. So SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!"

As you can see, this is just the beginning. Little does the know that this outburst wasn't just about her precious aunt. When she was a little toddler, her mother took her away from her father and she never saw him again until she was ten. Now she is finally seventeen and she is living with her father. Take a guess on where I was born. That's right, when she had found out about her mother taking her away from her father. I was born and I've been living in her ever since. And she hasn't found love ever since. She only finds loss and sorrow, leading to more pain and anger, leading to more hatred, making her more pure everytime something happens. Soon, I will escape, and I will end this. Brianna, let me out and I will end this pain. For the both of us. I can solve it all.

This voice again? Why won't it leave me alone. Dad is still yelling at me. "My sister is dying, you're right, but at the end of it, she is MY SISTER!" OK I've had enough. "AND SHE IS MY AUNT!" I'm going to bed. This is getting out of hand. Ever since we found out about the news, we haven't been the same people. Wait a minute, does he hear the voice too?