The Alpha's Mistake

Chapter 1

Copyright All Rights Reserved © _AspiringAuthor 

Chapter 1 : Nash

"Bro, are you coming to the party tonight?" My best friend and second in command asked. He entered the kitchen dressed in causal clothes. A plain blue, v-neck t-shirt and a pair of ripped, faded jeans. No doubt he was on his way there right now. I put everything back that I used to make my sandwich and then turn to face him. 

"Nope, I'd rather not sit through a night of make out sessions and hook ups, thank you." I say. I hated when they did this. Jason and his mate Lila always through a party every Friday at the pack house, which is my house. When those parties go on I either get dragged down there or I stay in Jason's house, eating all his food.

"How are you ever going to find her if you don't look?" He asked. By the look on his face I could tell he was actually concerned and not just being a total dick on purpose. I sighed deeply. The her he was talking about was my mate. I hated how he was more concerned then I was, maybe if he mind he's own business for once this wouldn't cause him so much worry. 

"Maybe," I say as I take a bite of my sandwich, "I don't want to find her." Half the reason because I knew I wasn't going to. He gave me this are-you-fucking-insane look and I just stared back at him as I chewed my sandwich, calmly. 

"Don't you want to fall in love, don't want to meet the girl that will love you back just as much as you love her and be happy?" He asks, his voice going up an octave. I want to slap him that's what I wanted. All that lovie-dovie crap didn't really fit me and hadn't fit him either until he found Lila and now he was convinced that finding my mate was the best, too.

Since I was Alpha it was kind of necessary for me to continue the blood line if I wanted the pack  to continue on. Love. Hmph. That's just a bunch of crap the elders tell us to make us have more werewolves and it's not even guaranteed that you'd mate with a another werewolf. It didn't matter anyway. The girl I was waiting for wasn't going be around for a while. 

"Man, shut up, okay? Go to your dumb party, send Lila my deepest regret that I couldn't attend her stupid set-up party." I say, getting frusterated with him. He always did this. Everytime, he was so concerned about me finding a mate. Weather that was do to  the fact he was second in command or best friend, I couldn't tell. Maybe it was a little bit of both. 

"Have fun being alone." He mutters as he left, no doubt pissed. He'd be over it by the end of the night, he always was. Once he got around Lila is was like all his worries and frustrations were gone. She'd even calmed him down once when he was on the verge of transformation he was so pissed. Lila wasn't a werewolf, but she had a magic all her own.

"You know they just want to help, right?" I keep my attention on the TV, already knowing who it is without turning around. It's the mistake I made two years ago. The mistake that no matter how hard I try I can't ignore or make go away.  It's one of those mistakes you have to face every day of your life and know that you have nothing but regret. It's one of those mistakes that you know your life would have been different if you hadn't made it. 

"I don't need help, thanks." I answer and don't bother making eye contact. I figure if I ignore it, it would go away. It always does. She always does.  

"Don't give me that crap, Nash," her voice gets high and pitchy, that's when you can tell she's mad, "your lonely anyone can see it, I mean, look at you all pathetic on a Friday night. Watching college football and eating a sandwich." 

I turn to face her. I hadn't really made eye contact with her in a while. We practically lived under the same roof, but she never bothered me and I never bothered her. It felt like forever since I'd seen her deep blue eyes and shiny, gorgeously curly light brown hair. I'd forgotten how beautiful she was. I'd forgotten how much it just wasn't enough. 

"Don't you have someone else to annoy the crap out of?" I ask. She was such a bitch sometimes. I swear, when other people were around she was an angel and then boom! Everyone leaves and she's the wicked bitch of the west. I can't stand her.

"Aw, come on now, don't be rude," She says sweetly and pouting. I hated when she did that. She knew that when we went out it turned me on, "you know you miss my company."

"Nope," I say and I mean it, Amy stopped being enough for me a long time ago, two years ago to be exact, "your bitchy ways aren't needed here, go to the party and find some other guy to come on to." I grinned as she glared at me. I figure I could mess with her for a  while. She brought this on herself. She should have just left me alone, but I know she coudn't help herself. Becauase sometimes I think of going back to her too. 

"I am not coming on to you!" She said, defensively. A little too defensive if you ask me. I put down my sandwich on the plate and walked over to her. She slowly edged backward with each step I took until she backed up against a wall. I put my left arm on the wall blocking her way to leave. I was enjoying this too much. I knew I would have to be careful or the fight I'd struggled to win so long ago would be back. I had to stay strong, not give in to her. 

"Oh, come on, Amy," I lean in close and then run my lips up her jawline to her ear, "you want me so bad right now." I know she did because I was feeling the same way, but it wasn't an urge that I couldn't control because it wasn't an urge of my animal side, it was a human urge. The need of another human being's touch, the want of her sighing my name. I felt her hands slam against my chest and even though it had no affect on me I acted like it did and pulled away. I know that if I hadn't I wouldn't be able to control myself anymore.

"No, Nash, I don't," she fixed her hair and I could see she was sweating a bit, I had made her nervous, "I was just trying to help." But she wasn't and she knew it. She was just holding back because she knew that if we did anything I'd be pissed about it tomorrow. That if I touched her in anyway more that I would hate her and myself later. That it would cause me pain. She is just a tease after all.

"Bull! You were trying to make me feel lonely, like you Amy," I yell, "you want me to come crawling back to you and hold on to you because you want me to think your the only other person for me, but your not and you know it." I say. I'm so pissed at her, she should have just kept walking out the door and not bothered me. 

"No-" but I don't give her the chance to continue, I interrupt her, 

"Yes. Because your so lonely and jealous that you can't be the girl I'm suppose to be with. You were always jealous and you convinced me I needed someone like you, but I don't," I edge closer just to make her nervous again, "because there's another girl out there for me." A girl that I remember by name, a girl I pushed away a while ago. A girl with eyes like the color of the deep, blue ocean. A girl I threw away like trash, when I should have praised her like a goddess. 

"You ruined that a long time ago, Nash and we both know that." She grinned and walked away. I had to let her leave, I had nothing else to say no come back because she was right. She'd won. I had ruined it and it felt like it was too late to fix. I had ruined everything. 

"By the way, I'll always be here," I hear her voice coming from the doorway, "when she doesn't show up, I'll be here." I rolled my eyes. She was so dramatic at times. I sat back down on the couch, but instead of eating or watching football. I let my mind race. I always did when I felt like crap. The thoughts in my head would distract me from the emotions, but not for long. A thought would trigger an emotion sooner or later and then I'd turn off my brain and focus on other things, like football and eating. 

And waiting. 

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•{Author's Note}•

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