Better Than A Broad

03

Dan woke up to the sound of a crow cawing. No, that wasn't it. It was more electronic, more artificial. An alarm clock! It was an alarm going off. Most likely to remind Phil to wake up. Dan opened his groggy eyes. At first, they watered a bit, obscuring everything in his vision. After he wiped his tree bark eyes, he saw everything clearer. He was still on Phil's couch. Phil was sleeping right next to him. Or, at least Dan thought Phil was next to him. All he could see was a pile if blankets and a black mop. So, Phil was a good guess.

Dan turned his head in a hearty stretch. His gaze met an unusual sight. The alarm clock was in a fishbowl. There wasn't any water in the tank, nor was there any fish. It was decor and an alarm clock. The bowl looked like holding an alarm clock was its only purpose, too. Someone had put a hole in the side of it, big enough to fit the cord. Dan got up to turn it off when he noticed something - Phil hadn't stirred to the sound at all. Okay, so Phil wasn't the best guess. Dan pulled the blankets off of what he thought to be Phil. He was meticulous enough to make sure that if it was Phil, he wouldn't wake. Pillows. Phil had put a black wig on some pillows, and then put blankets on the whole mess. Dan was on the hunt.

First, he tried the kitchen. Nothing (unless you count unusual decorations as something. Then the bathroom. Empty. There was a shortage of rooms at this point. It was just the bedroom. Dan slowly opened the door, which was a bit creaky. With each sound from the door, Dan cringed a bit more. Finally, it was finally open and Dan was able to see into the room. As he expected, there was Phil. What he did not expect to see was him laying on the floor. He had been covered in various sheets and pillows, none of which covered him adequately. There were bright purples, greens, blues, yellows, and pinks scattered around him. He was reading a book and humming a tune. Dan let out a little breathy laugh, getting Phil's attention.

"Dan! You're awake." He looked so ecstatic to see the other man. To Dan, he looked like an excited puppy.

Dan took a seat right next to where Phil was laying and wrapped a purple sheet around him. "Yeah, I am. What's with the...," he struggled to find a general term for the various cloths, "comforters? And why did you try to trick me into thinking you were asleep next to me?"

Phil giggled at the thought of his own shenanigans. "Well, part of it was because I wanted to play a little prank on you. The other part was because I wanted to make you feel like you could leave if you wanted to."

Dan cocked his head to the side a little and adopted a perplexed face. "Leave if I wanted to?"

"Yeah, well you know...When people have one night stands, they usually try to leave before the other person wakes up."

"We didn't sleep together."

"I know."

The idea of abandoning Phil like that made Dan sick. He had spent so much brain power on the thought of him. He had planned out everything with him. He had wanted to stay with him for a while now. If he left without explanation, he would be throwing that away. He would be throwing every hope of being with one of the most beautiful men he's ever seen. He could never do that. And because of this, it had never occurred to him that Phil might think he would. "I had a blast. Why would I ever want to make an Irish exit?"

"I try not to be too optimistic." The way Phil's way went down at the end make Dan want to scoop him up and hold him.

"That must be hard for you. I mean, you're such a joyous person."

Phil's face lit up a bit at the compliment. "Yeah, it is. Do you want breakfast?"

"Really? That would be amazing. You don't have to."

"No no no, I want to, I swear. What do you want?"

"Surprise me."

"Pancakes!" Phil jumped so quickly and with so much enthusiasm that is actually made Dan jump. Phil laughed.  

     "We didn't sleep together."

     "I know."

     The idea of just abandoning Phil like that made Dan sick. He had spent so much brain power on the thought of him. He had planned out everything with him. He had wanted to stay with him for a while now. If he left without explanation, he would be throwing that away. He would be throwing every hope of being with one of the most beautiful men he's ever seen. He could never do that. And because of this, it had never occurred to him that Phil might think he would. "I had a blast. Why would I ever want to make an Irish exit?" 

     "I try not to be too optimistic." The way Phil's way went down at the end make Dan want to scoop him up and hold him. 

     "That must be hard for you. I mean, you're such a joyous person."

     Phil's face lit up a bit at the compliment. "Yeah, it is. Do you want breakfast?" 

     "Really? That would be amazing. You don't have to."

     "No no no, I want to, I swear. What do you want?"

     "Suprise me."

    "Pancakes!" Phil jumped so quickly and with so much enthusiasm that is actually made Dan jump. Phil laughed.  

AN: Oh my lord, finally. It's been forever since I've updated this. Shoutout to my homegirl Kennedy for bringing my attention back to this fic. I stopped writing it for a while because I felt like I couldn't move the story forwards. But then, after Kennedy told me I should write a new chapter, I reread what I had already written and fell in love with the concept all over again. So yeah, here it is. I hope you enjoy.