The enviromentalists

The ennviromentalists

So today guys Ima gonna tell you a story that my great cherokee apache helicopter grandfather told to me when I was a little piece of shit, that is sooo spooky (and 100% real) that will scare your virginities away. Also, if you, while reading the story experience agony and painful death, don't worry its normal you will be fine bra so don't be a pussy. Here it goes. 53 years ago, when the earth was young like a teen pussy, two men arrived to a village that my grandpa used to live there close to a huge mountain, home of the legendary yetis. One blonde and the other brunette, those two muscular, handsome fellows with mighty fine asses were carrying a huge backpack on their backs with special equipment. They said to the village peasants that they were "environmentalists" and they are here in a search of the legendary yetis. "Das cool" the leader of the village replied with wisdom to them and then warned them:" Listen here lads. Many faggots like you came here to find the motherfucking yetis but none of them came back. That's because the mountain's frequent hardcore snowstorms along with the mountains magnetic field that makes the compasses unusable and causing the explorers to lose their way back here. So I plead you. If you value your lives don't go to the fucking mountain" said the old dick and then proceeded to cough cancer blood on his palm of his hand. The two youngsters were listening thoroughly to the old fart's words."Fear not for our lives old bastard, that you are about to kick the bucket" spitted the blond guy gloriously to the face of the soon-to-be-dead human. "Yes, we are not sissy boys like the gays that came here to hunt yetis before us." added the brunette guy. We are manly men that fuck 5 different pussies a day. And that kind of manly men that fucks 5 different pussies a day, ought to be a professional at his manly job. So that he can fuck 5 different pussies a day after his job is done." And as an extension to the brunette guy's words, the blonde guy also said to the dead old man this: "Exactly. The others were not professional. They were sucking dick for living. They are a disgrace to the world. I am afraid that if I take a stinky piss up there, these dead guys might come close to get a taste of my meaty sausage." and then those two guys burst in manly laughs. The person that was soon to go to heaven just farted lightly to warm the atmosphere. The time had come for the two manly heroes to follow the trail that led to the snowy mountain that the yetis reside. But as they are about to leave the village, the leader of the village that was marked by the Grim Reaper, touched blonde guy's round and soft-as-pillow ass to get his attention. "Ey, what the fuck man, no homo! What are you doing fiddling with my ass, old bastard?" shouted the blond guy in a mild girly voice. There was a comfortable discomfort hanging in the air for a while and when it vanished, the old mummy responded: "No homo as well, my son. I remember there was a guy. He was an explorer such as yourselves, a bit taller, but he had a different skin color from us. As I remember he had skin like the color of my feces I made when I accidentally ate charcoal for lunch. He stole my Gucci bicycle and my money and then went to the mountain but like the others never returned. If you find my belongings and if you manage somehow to return, I will let you have sex with my daughter." "Is she hot?" the two men asked. "So hot that I masturbate thinking of her at nights" answered the old pervert. The two guys got a little hard by thinking about it and agreed to help the ancient wicked one as they set course for the yeti mountain. The following week found the two environmentalists in the midst of a huge ass blizzard that seems to have no end. Despite their cunning and their professionalism, they lost their way. "Oh shit waddup, we got lost mate." said the brunette guy as we was trembling from the extreme cold. "Yes, and if we don't find a shelter very soon we gonna freeze to death like a little bitches. We must get warm." said the blonde in an almost defeated alpha male tone. "I have an idea. It may sound silly and beta, but it might work" the brunette guy answered. "Well what is it? We need to get warm ASAP." the blonde replied anxiously."We masturbate lightly while walking with the one hand and since the snow storm is too thick and the air too strong we need use the other to hold hands so we won't lose each other." the brunette dude replied. "I rather die man, than turn into a gaylord." shouted the blonde guy, but since they were running out of options, he decided to play along. Then, both slipped their right hand into their pants and start jacking uncomfortably, said the mandatory "no homo" out loud, used their left hands to hold each other and then proceed to walk into the jizz-white mist. They have been doing this for days. Walking with no end. The snow storm still would not show signs of stopping. Eventually they got exhausted. They couldn't walk, nor could fap anymore. They were about to die like faggots. The blonde guy gathered some power and articulated these words: "So much for those fucking yetis that would make us famous as fuck." and fell on his knees. But then something appeared in the horizon. There was a shack hidden in the heart of the mountain. It was big enough and well maintained that you could call it an 'old house'. Also after further inspection they figured that there might be someone living inside. The two dudes with their frozen asses went closer to see if they can get in the shack. It was their last chance to stay alive. They knocked the door. A very huge hulk-like negro opened it. "Hello bredas. Harry, cum on in". said with a deep voice the person with the African DNA. The two explores were skeptical for a moment. "Damn it. We're gonna be the guests of a nigger. No choice though. Let's hope that he does not try to steal our possessions and for god's sake, that he has more than watermelons and chicken wings to feed us." But before we leave let us not forget to steal some of his weed." They silently agreed to those terms and went in. As they let the heat from the fireplace to warm their bodies they soon realized that the guy with the chocolate skin was in fact, alright. He gave them dry clothes to wear and some pink blankets to cover themselves with. They happily accepted everything except the pink blankets because they had faggy color. They finally sit with the huge guy from the ebonian race for a chit chat. As it turns out, the dark man was a very smart one. They have been sharing their experiences about how many bitches they had fucked almost the whole evening, leaving the unimportant stuff such as when the storm will end and what will they eat during their stay. The shadowed-skin man told them that the storm probably will cease in three days and they are welcome to sleep and eat here until it passes. Unfortunately, the food supplies are running low but at least he has normal food in his storage, not nigger food. The two environmentalists grew to like this black man but still are not risking touching him; for they might turn black like him as well. The first night arrived pretty quickly, and the snowstorm was showing no signs of stopping. The 2 guys were hungry so the doodoo colored man because his food supplies were running low, gave to the blond guy one can of beans and the brunette a big germane sausage. He even threw some tea with a secret recipe that actually made it very tasty. Having finished their meal, the two exhausted dudes went to sleep. The morning of the next day arrived quickly with the storm showing no signs of stopping yet and the blonde guy complaining about having very sharp pains in his anus causing him to fart like a mule that ate rotten tacos. "My ass"!! He yelled as he dropped a wet fart. "Gaddamn it brodas, dat guy haz week stomah." said the person who is closer to apes in the evolution chain. "Yeah, this motherfucker farts like a fucking machine. He has turned this house into a jewish gas chamber for fucks sake" said in a very mature and sympathetic tone, the brunette guy. Everyone found that joke way too funny and they burst into laughter. It was at this moment that the blonde guy's anus got very loose from the pain and the farts that when he farted this time he also shat his pants. They laughter quickly turned sour, as the brunette guy and the citizen of the darkness spend the whole morning cleaning the mess. It was noon of the first day when they finished cleaning the blonde guy's shit. The huge guy with the burned skin mostly was cleaning the mess because his ancestors had experience in cleaning the shit of white masters. They applaud him for his efforts. This time for lunch he gave the blonde guy a cucumber and this time since the blonde guy had a weak stomach, gave the canned beans to the brunette guy. "Let's hope I don't get the runs this time heheh" said humorously the brunette guy. "Notcha problam bro you will bi fain" said the African descendant. The afternoon passed kinda dull with a small chat while watching the snowstorm that it actually looked to be less aggressive this day. The night came and it was time to go to sleep. The morning arrived and the storm had really calmed down a lot making it safe to leave but once again an anus was really in pain. It was the brunette guys anus. He was aching so much that he couldn't sit. "Fuck, fuckity, fuck my asshole! It hurts man! Its like I got buttfucked by a tyrannosaurus last night" shouted the brunette guy. "Those fucking beans rekt our colon" said the brunette guy to the chocolateboy. The blonde guy was glaring the dark colored guy. "Pepol plis. Relax. De beanz were fine. If you noticed, these days was eatin beanz along witchu' and im fine. Perhaps you got sick from de exhaustion, mon." Actually he was right. He has been eating beans those past 2 days. Maybe they were just sick. Besides the butthurt that the blonde guy had yesterday, it has faded away today. So they decided to stay here this day as well, in order to be in better shape so they can leave tomorrow. The dark one decided to entertain them today as a farewell gift. He brought out some weed from his stash and some rape porn dvds to watch in the afternoon. The weed was dank and the porn was so hardcore that it gave them a hard on that they were trying to hide them discretely because it would have caused an awkward gay moment. The coming of the next day was welcomed with bright sunlight and the chirping of the local birds. It was clear that the snowstorm was no more. The two guys were feeling really good this day. It was time to go back. The two environmentalists packed their packs with the black man's help. They were two fond of that huge gorilla-black boy that they had forgotten the old fart's words about a nigger in the woods back in a village. As they approach the house's door they said these words to the black man. "We are thank you for your help brother. If it weren't for you we would have been frozen to death. You have treated us like a real honorable man should. We wish there is a way to repay you for all your kindness." Then the black negro thouched their respective shoulders in a very close and friendy way, he then smiled and said to them:" Don't worry drothas you have already repay me." and he slowly vanished in front of them. It is rumored that when a snowstorm breaks in this mountain, you can still hear the voices of the two young men crying, cursing and yelling into oblivion. The end

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