Is it Enough to Love you (A Josh Hutcherson love story)

Chapter 24: Talk dirty to me

Chapter 24:

It all began to slow down. The voices. The sounds. The movement. My intake of life as I knew it. I felt almost unreal, as if my existence were irrelevant to time in that moment, but it all came screeching back because in that moment my existence was anything but irrelevant, and I wished that it were unreal and that I was dreaming. My life was a dream and I'd wake up soon. And all of this would be utterly gone.

"Charlotte." I saw a hand in front of my face and snapped my attention to the boy standing in the doorway of the living room looking towards me with a look in his eyes that said everything that he was going to say. I'm sorry.

"It's not okay." I narrowed my eyes at him causing his eyes to sadden "you lied to me." I stated coldly before leaving the room. Josh didn't even say a word to me or try to stop me. Maybe if he had ever loved me he would have stopped me but he didn't. I silently made my way into my room and shut the door before laying down on my bed and sobbing silently, secretly hoping that Josh would come through the door and tell me that he truly did love me. The door then opened a little over five minutes later and Josh walked in looking calm, the kind of calm that a person looks before the hit you with a blunt object. Frightening calm.

"You told Connor we kissed, did you?" Josh rubbed his chin with his hand and looked at me disdainfully.

"I'm sorry, it slipped out when you ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it." I retorted coldly turning so I didn't have to face him.

"Char-"

"Don't, I fixed it he doesn't know anything." I shot at him "so you don't need to worry about anyone being under the mistaken impression that you care about me, I even know that now."

"I do care about you though."

"You had to, I was just a burden remember."

"No you weren't." Josh shook his head swiftly locking the door without my noticing. "Shut the curtains."

"Why?" I asked getting up and shutting them anyway. It was suddenly dark in the room
and I could no longer see Josh. "Oh, I get it rape." I looked around into darkness suspiciously before I felt Josh pull me into his chest, I gasped in surprise and tried to shove him away.

"Please just let me hold you." He shushed me running his fingers through my hair.

"No."

"What?"

"Stop lying to me Josh." I pushed him away again.

"I did lie, but not to you, you know I had to say that to deflect all suspicion I thought that you trusted me enough to know that."

"I don't trust anyone that much." I looked him dead in the eye, feeling weight off my chest but still feeling betrayed by Josh for no identifiable reason.

"I'm sorry, I hurt you." He stepped towards me placing his hand on my face cupping my cheek. I involuntarily leaned into it giving him the okay to step closer to me. Slowly I placed my hand on his and held it. This felt nice, and I wanted things to stay like this, I wanted to forget all the words that were said and the feeling of betrayal that had no more purpose but was still there and just be here in Josh's arms because no matter how many words he said I couldn't imagine ever being able to stop us from going back to this in some way. LCharlotte?"

"Yes."

"Do you love me?" I knew the answer but I didn't say a word feeling paralyzed as I felt Josh's warm breath on my face inching closer to my mouth. I shut my eyes in anticipation, I felt shivers shoot through my body and I was shaking when he laid his lips on mine. They were soft and he wasn't nearly as aggressive as he was the last time he kissed me. I almost fell when I leaned into his arms, he placed both his hands on my lower back and pulled me closer as I threw my arms around his neck. When I began to kiss him back he suddenly became aggressive pushing me up against a wall and trailing his lips down to my neck, it felt amazing to be in his arms again but it also felt so wrong. After a minute of Josh at my neck, I was finding it hard to process thoughts or breath.