Lost - LRH

Prologue

May 19th, 2011

The date that has been etched into my brain. This is the day where I had lost both of my parents. I lost my mother to cancer and I lost my father to the cold absence of my mother. Just minutes after the announcement of my mother's death, my father became distant, building impenetrable walls around him. Our conversations of the little things in life ceased and dinner had become awkward and quiet.

I remember when we got the news that my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer, back in 2010. I watched my mother grow weak, I tried to muffle my cries at night but it did no good. My mother had to go to the public hospital, rather than stay with us, because her cancer had reached stage four. It was terminal, the doctors said she wouldn't last long. She did, just not long enough.

For 6 months I visited my mother in the hospital. I watched as her beautiful brown hair began to thin, from the treatment. I watched as her beautiful ocean blue eyes began to fade into a dull grey. I watched as her strong reassuring smile, grew weak. I watched her die, slowly, and painfully.

I had seen my father die, too. I watched how his broad frame began to slouch and his wonderful chestnut eyes lost its gleam. I watched his hair thin and grey, as if he became 5 years older within those 6 months. I saw my hero break down into sobs as I secretly stood near his bedroom door, their bedroom door.

I hadn't only lost my parents, I, myself began to feel numb. I cried myself to sleep every night, in the dark, to hide my pain and vulnerability.I had wandered, not knowing where I was going but I didn't care. I had lost myself.