My hearts become too cold to break .::ELY::.

Constant Recovery

Eugene is in Korea it's been a week since that day, and I'm still just as lost, still empty, still hopeless, but something just keeps willing me to stay. How cliche would it be if it were those stupid ten minute Skype calls from Eugene where he checks on me and makes sure I'm eating and taking care of myself while he's gone? It is, in case you were wondering his stupid smile is the only thing currently keeping me going. And I'm okay with that. 

I actually pull myself from my bed to take a shower and attempt to make myself look presentable for work, crippling depression doesn't pay the bills.  On the plus side Mr. Stupid Smile is coming home today; and that's been my motivation for the week, baby steps back to my old self.  Although it's been a pretty productive week, I got back on my medication, to try to balance all of this out, it's not working like it used to though. I go through my shower in a daze and only zone back in after hearing someone knock on the front door, so I quickly dry off and get dressed before hurrying downstairs to get it. It's Keith and an intern with a camera.
"I brought you a surprise!" Keith says rather excitedly. I plaster a fake smile on my face and step out of the way to let them in.
"What's all this for?" I ask now noticing the small group of people behind the intern.
"Close your eyes!" He says I sigh but do as I'm told. As soon as my eyes are closed I feel arms around me and smell an all too familiar smell, one that I regretfully admit I've missed. I don't open my eyes I don't have to, I don't have to look up to know who it is. I bury my face in His chest and wrap my arms tightly around him, feeling my eyes begin to water. How did I let this man do this to me?
"I missed you too Beau," he says I've never loved my name more than when he says it; even though it causes the river to run free, down my cheeks and onto whatever dapper suit he's wearing today. Upon feeling my tears soak through his shirt he tightens his arms around me and presses his lips to the top of my head.
"Uh lets turn the cameras off for a little bit," Keith says and I finally look up at the person holding me. Eugene just kisses my forehead and pulls me back into his chest.
"I'm sorry you couldn't come with me," he mumbles his lips still pressed to the top of my head.
"It's okay," I whisper my voice raspy from crying and hardly using it. Eugene eventually lets go of me and steps back to look at me.
"Are you doing okay? You look better," he says I just nod,"you're sure?"
"Positive, Eugene, I'm a little better," I say, and that's the best I've got. You've gotta start somewhere right? And this is where I choose to start. With my best friend, and my one small source of happiness.