WARNING: Triggers in content posted below. If you are easily triggered by (Suicide, Depression, or self harm) please do not read. Thank you.
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Maya's POV
Gotta pack my bags, leave my world behind.
Take a different road I know it's my time.
To open up my heart for another crowd.
Play it strong and sing it loud.
I grip onto the colorfully wrapped box as I approach him. He looks at me and for a second, I melt to the ground. I melt. Like butter. Zig always had that effect on me. It wasn't just because of his looks. It was because I loved him. Almost as much I loved Ca-...
Anyway, I walk up to him and for a second, I see an excited look in his eyes. It disappears within seconds when he sees Esme.
"Oh crap. Maya, I can't really be seen with you. I'm so-"
"Don't be sorry. I get it," I assured him. A few steps more before Esme sees me.
I make quick and rush off to the side. I hide behind a wall and inhale sharply. Pain. I don't understand what kind of pain. But it's there. I peer from the side, trying to make sure she doesn't see me. There they were. Esme Song and Zig Novak, my Zig Novak. Together.
"I'd rather step on glass then watch Miles' dumb play." She tells him as she grabs his hand.
"Esme...come on. I told you we have to go and support Grace." Zig sighed. "At least we'll be together." They share a kiss. Pain. This type of pain. Not consumed with rage but with pure jealously and sadness. Zig cheated on me. He kissed Zoë. He hurt me and I'm the one who's left unhappy while he fools around with Esme. It's just not fair.
I look forward and my eyes fall on Jonah in an instant. He sees me too. He looks happy. That's good. At least he's happy to see me, right?
"Hey you..." he greeted. I smile at him. Jonah was always such a great friend to me. Always real. Always supportive. Maybe just maybe...but it isn't his job. It isn't his job to pick up the pieces.
"Can you give this to Grace for me?" I asked as I handed him the box. He stares at it and is immediately confused.
"Um...you can give it to her yourself. Come to the play, Maya." He said a A.
"She's mad at me," I tell him as, a thought washing over me. The thought. She didn't wanna see me.
"Maybe...but I know for a fact that no matter what happens, she loves you." I chuckle at the thought. She doesn't.
No one does. Who could. He couldn't love me so much that he had to leave me. Who could love me?
"What are you, the Grace whisperer?" I joke nonchalantly with him. A smile forms on his face as she shakes his head. He reached into his pocket and handed me a ticket to the play. IM hope. Clever.
"Barely but uh, I'll see you tonight. That's my comp ticket. You can't turn down a free ticket, now can you?" He gives me a wink before he walks off into the other direction. I took a deep breath and stared down at the ticket. Maybe I should go. Maybe it'll make me happy. Just maybe.
- - -
"Ticket please," Yael said to me as I entered the gym. She smiles as she looks over it, to make sure that it isn't fake. "Okay so seat number twenty fou..." I look at the seat and realized that Esme was sitting there. I'm not angry. I'm not mad.
"I can tell them to move if you like,"
"Oh no..." I started. "I really don't wanna be a bother. Um, could you give this to Grace for me?" I handed her the little box and she nods, almost unsure. I glanced at someone who was sitting next to Esme, in a wheel chair. The person turns around and I see his face. Tristan. My ex best friend. Tristan Milligan. Here. In school. Watching the play.
"Isn't it amazing? Now we can actually put this bus crash behind us..."
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I walk into the empty hall and I watch as the students all rushed inside the gym. It was quiet out here and I liked it. I sat near my locker and the coast is clear. No one in sight. And at first, it felt okay. It felt peaceful. And then. All the memories flooding through my head. Every single moment. It all came back to me.
"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, Maya. But Cam is dead. We found him on the green house. He committed suicide."
"No. There has to be a mistake. I just saw Cam the other day. He's fine..."
I stare down at them. The pills I took from the medicine cabinet. The pills I was going to take. The pills I needed to end this pain. This numbing pain in my heart that just wouldn't go away. A tear had escaped my eye. Just one. But I know that I can't cry. I have to do this. It's the only way to end the pain. And then I'll be with him again. And I won't feel alone. One by one, I pop them into my mouth and take a sip of water. I did this repeatedly till there were no more pills to take. Maybe now I'll get to know why he did it.
"Why did you leave me. Why did you leave me, Campbell. I'm all alone now..." I took my headphones out from my bag and I put them on. Okay. Numbness. It's still there. But everything seems fuzzy.
I love you mom. I love you Katie. Tristan...Tori. Miles...Zoë. Zig. Jonah. Grace. I'm sorry...I'm really really sorry.
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Tristan's POV
He was such a good actor. But somehow I felt like this wasn't just acting. Between the video she posted and the play, it was kind of obvious. I wanted to leave. I don't know how to feel. I'm slowly putting the pieces together but I can't be angry at him. Mum explained to me what had happened. She explained how long he waited and how he was by my side his whole summer and during school too. Mum explained that I shouldn't blame him for trying to live life normally. He needed to. He needed to not feel pain for a while. He needed to be happy.
I wheeled out of the gym and I seen a couple of people look at me. I needed to think. I just couldn't stay in there. So I wheeled around school for a good minute. The school was beautiful decorated by posters that help welcome the new students from Syria. Nice job, Zo. Of course, she did well. She's amazing. And she's so happy. I'm glad she's happy. I've always been so hard on her about everything. And she did that all on her own.
I turn into a hall and I see her. Not Zoe. Someone else. Oh god. I see her. And I couldn't speak. I couldn't feel anything but a numbing pain in my stomach. She was on the ground. ODing. I wheeled closer to see her pupils fixated on a certain spot on the wall. Maya. No. Why Maya. Why. Why wasn't I there for you. Why didn't I care enough. Why did i get angry. You were just trying to protect me. Maya please wake up. Please. Please be okay. It all happened so fast. As hot streaks of tears ran down of cheeks, I could see Zo. And I could see Zig. Grace. Jonah. All rushing to her side. Miles hovered over me, making sure I was alright. No. This isn't alright. Maya. Please Maya. Wake up.
