Heavy Hearts

Chapter 1| school and wishes

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Question: Do you feel like parents expect too much from you?

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Chapter one

|School and Wishes

"Today marks the start of a great year," my mom smiled, pressing her manicured fingers into my cheeks. My head almost immediately arched back, my hands grabbing at hers. I had already noticed people staring through the car.

"I know, mom." I gently let her hands go. "But nothing's changed, it's just my last year."

"Doesn't mean it won't be great, does it?" she smiled, handing me my lunch.

At the ripe age of forty four, my mom had the glow of any wealthy housewife. Her hair was tied back into a pony tail and she had her work slippers on, so early in the morning that I had figured her day would be compiled with house cleaning, one of her recurring hobbies.

Sometimes I wondered if she was happy with staying at home all the time but every time I asked, she'd tell me she was.

I gave a small smile scrunching the paper bag to get a better grip on it. It was most probably a sandwich. My mom wasn't the type to pamper me. If she had done my lunch today, it was because she wanted to feel part of my first day of school. On normal days I would do it myself or just eat the food that was provided by the cafeteria.

"I guess you're right." I pulled the handle on the door.

When my eyes came in line with the school, a sense of adrenalin kicked in. I was about to walk into my last year. My last year of these classes, these people that had made my previous four years of highschool a dream and a nightmare. I was so excited for the most part. Other than all my sports, I had only joined the prom committee as well as the leadership council this year. I still remember the end of last year when all the voting was done. Being part of the leadership council was always a dream, although I couldn't be head council like my brother previously was, I was happy to be part of the team.

"Of course I am," she looked out the car, "You'll show them again who Mariah Fers is," she competitively spoke. I gave her a sharp look, that 'mom you're getting worked up' look. She was my number one supporter and she made it known. I used to love being the apple of her eye but now it felt as if she was constantly breathing down my neck all the time.

"Okay bye mom." I closed the door, my feet already knowing the way. My hands grabbed tighter to the straps of my bag as I walked in.

I could smell the new people, I could smell the old. I could sense the nervousness and anticipation from some people, most probably the juniors but of course they'd be nervous, they had every right to be. The school had a tradition to put juniors through civil initiation. Those days were brutal for me, but they were over now. Now I was the senior, If I wanted to I could be the one to inflict the fear in these children, but I just walked passed.