The Concept of Love

She was nice. She was kind. She was gentle. I didn't see her more than a girl I saw once and a while during school. Then something happened. We became friends. Though I admit I do not remember how we became friends or what exactly brought us together, I knew one thing, together we were inseparable. We laughed together. We cried together. We lived together. As time passed we became the best of friends. We shared secrets about each other and as the days went by we learned more and more about one another. We were truly best friends. Anywhere we went we were always happy.

Then bad things happened to me. I lost my baby cousin. It was hard, his passing really took a toll on me. It broke me. How could something like this happen? I lost all sense of rationality and my heart was broken. But amidst all the pain I felt, she was there for me. She was always there for me; she had my back. However nonetheless I soon became very sad and depressed. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. I found it difficult to feel happy. But even when I was at the lowest of the low, she was there for me. She was able to make me feel happy no matter how sad I felt. She helped me see the better side of life. She was the one who gave an actual effort to show me that it'll all be ok. She was the first person to make me feel...loved and cherished in life. She made me feel for the first time in my life like my life mattered, that I mattered and I had a purpose here in this world. She had my back and I had hers.

Something bad happened to her. She felt broken. Someone took away her sense of safety and made her afraid. She was broken. And I was there to to help fix her. I held her when she cried and cried with her. I promised her no one would ever hurt her again. I was there for her when no one else was. I made her laugh. I reminded her that the world isn't evil. It's beautiful, it just takes the right people to show you. Time goes by and we're inseparable. We're best friends. We know things about each other no other people would know. We trust each other. We do everything together. We make each other happy. I'm happy. I'm genuinely happier when I'm with her. Something's happening. I...I think I'm falling in love with her. Yes, yes I'm falling in love with her. I love her. She's the first girl I've ever felt this way about and I truly, honest to God love her. She makes me happy whenever I see her. Just seeing her smile can brighten my day. She's my life, she's my everything, and I can't see my life without her. She's more than my best friend, she's the person I can honestly see a future with. I love her with all my heart but I'm too scared to tell her that I do.

A couple months go by. Prom is around the corner. We hang out and she stays out too late. Her parents get mad at her. She calls me when she gets home and I listen to her cry and it breaks my heart. I want to tell her but I just can't. She says she's sad that no one asked her to prom. I want to ask her but...I don't know. I'm terrified, my heart is beating rapidly. Finally I ask her, "well maybe you'd want to go to prom with me?" She says "yes, I'd like that." My heart races. I'm thrilled I'm excited. My first prom ever and I get to go with her. Prom day comes around and I'm getting ready. My mom looks at me and smiles. "You look so handsome" I feel happy. Nothing can ruin this. My moms smile disappears, "I have to tell you something" I look at her concerned. She tells me. My heart drops. My uncle who's baby boy passed not even 5 months before overdosed on drugs and passed away. I found out 10 minutes before going to my first prom.

I don't know what to feel. My body feels numb. My heart hurts and becomes heavy. I feel a pain in my heart. I go to my other friend's house to wait for everyone. Finally she arrives. She looks beautiful. I can't help but just stare in awe. I think to myself "wow" and just smile, a stupid smile. The kind of smile where you can't help feeling happy just from seeing them. We go to prom and everything is great. I'm happy. I'm happy being with my friends and having a great time making memories but...I still have the thought of my uncle and baby cousin in the back of my mind. She helps distract me and helps me forget for just a little while so I can be able to just enjoy this moment. This moment right now. And I love it. I love every single moment of it. After prom we go to IHOP. They notice I seem kinda down. They ask what's wrong and I tell them. I tell them how 10 minutes before prom I found out my uncle passed away. All the pain and sadness flooded my heart. I can feel my heart become heavy as I hold back tears. She looks at me and says that it will all be ok and kisses me on my forehead. I feel better. Like a mom kissing a child's knee when the fall. She makes me feel safe and secure and that it will all be ok. She makes me feel whole and complete.