Shores of Truth

Ch. 16, Her Mother

Nyx

That night Nyxeria lay awake. Curled up under piles of blankets, she had not changed clothing. Her shoes were carelessly thrown beside the bed. She did not remember the walk home. It had been dark. Deep in her gut she hoped he would have run after her. He'd offer to never leave her. He'd promise forever, a happily ever after. Fantasy is delightful. This allusion far outweighs reality. Sometimes dreams are best left that way. This time there was no perfect ending. One person had to lose everything for the other. They would resent the other. Their love or their life that was the choice. Nyxeria pondered these facts with the purpose of finding a loophole. In essence she was able to come to terms with the animosity the fates must have. The world faded around her. Her sense dulled until she fell into empty abyss. Nothing mattered. Nothing existed. Pain brought her back. She sobbed. Wanting back into the abyss Nyxeria wailed. She didn't want to feel this. Her entire body cried out in agony. Nyxeria wept. Not even recalling the cause of her misery, she pounded her fists into her pillows. People often forget the physical pain of heartbreak, how the longing heart throws tantrums. A part of her once so vital had been amputated. The loneliness eroded all emotion and all sense.

 Nyxeria had not noticed her mother rush to her side. She also did not notice the screams of agony leaving her mouth. Her mother held her close shushing her ceaseless sobbing.

 "This will pass, honey. This all will pass."

 When her sobs became silent and her tears could no longer fall. Nyxeria fell exhausted down upon her mattress. Mrs. Page smoothed her hair. Max lay whining with them.

 "I don't believe you. This will never pass."

 "The scars will never leave you, but the pain will fade."

 "How can I ever love again?"

 "I don't know."

 "Is this how it was to lose dad?"

 "Death is different. Final. Certain."

 "Yes. I will go on knowing he will live on without me. I am a terrible selfish person to wish him misery." She sobbed. "And he leaves taking with him all my joy, all my happiness. And I let him. I stupidly fell for his stupid charms and his stupid... Our stupid belief that we would be better off giving ourselves happiness when we both knew it was pointless."

 "I warned you."

 "Mother please..."

 "I can't stand to see you unhappy. The heart is a ridiculous invention," Mrs. Page said with serious idealization. They sat in quiet for a time. Nyxeria fell asleep. Her cries had worn her out.

Mrs. Page

Mrs. Page wondered at the depth of her daughter's heartbreak. What could she do to make it stop? There was a secret she had never told her daughter. Men leave. They leave and never understand the consequences of their actions. Mrs. Page has learned there were more bearable ways to deal with abandonment.

 The sun had started to rise. She must have been sitting here longer than she thought. As if it was a normal chore like taking the garbage out, Mrs. Page went into her closest. In a box sat the remains of her husband's things. It did not take much digging to find it. Her husband had always kept a gun in the house. You never know when you might need it.