My rejection in life

My feelings

It was almost 11 am. I just woke up, not because I genuinely wanted to but had to wake up to prevent mom's wrath in beginning of the day of my summer vacations.

I've never visited many places unlike my classmates who've visited multiple countries till date of 20/06/13.

Due to This fact only , I was never able to communicate with my classmates, which resulted in me being an introvert who had bad grades already and was pathetic at sports.

I couldn't or rather didn't try to make friends. I used to do stupid stuff but always end up in an awkward situation... which resulted in me being more ashamed of myself. I used to play video games to escape from reality, which I still do but the reason has changed.

Back then, in class 6th, I heard that an amazingly cute girl was around( which I realised much later who she was ). Her name was sheily( not used real name 😁) . Being an introvert I never was able to ask about her... also due to my poor curriculum ( or rather poor academics) led me to conclusions. These conclusions were horrible( I realised it much later ). I used to think I'm nobody, I don't deserve friends, I don't deserve anything that I have, not even my own soul.

It was sad, although funny how I used to think back then. But later one day, when I saw her ( I felt she is the one ) , although immature me, I thought of her as a sweet person.

But I was told that she is way out of my league ( when I shared it to my " friends " ). I was told she is much better in everything that I was doing already with such hardships ...huuh..smh.

Those thoughts really hit me hard. I started to waste more time ( where I went wrong) , I failed in tests more often. So when I came to my senses , I promised myself to not let go of the idea of proposing her to be my friend and make me happier even though for this short life only.

So I just need to work harder, I told that to myself. Which was a good thing for my future mindset.

Thank you for reading :) .