This chapter is gonna be updated frequently because I'm doing all four years in only four chapters. Just letting y'all know. So without further ado, welcome to a slice of my life! And just so y'all know all of these are from random ppl unless I say it's me lol!
"I know how to tie a noose out of this"
"I'll help you tie your noose if you don't know how."
"WAIT!!
so we're not gonna hang ourselfs?!"
"I feel like I just walked out of a satanic ritual!"
"That's a very Caucasian baby, from the GREAT Caucasian mountains!"
"Anyone have some ibuprofen or a gun?"
"Y'know... I don't even need to pass."
"I thought tapioca was a fish."
"I'm gonna draw a unicorn on it!"
"I swear Walmart drama is the same as Highschool drama"
"Freaking Asia! They won't do anything right!"
"OMG! They're a baby and a PIMP!"
"I've put a person in a hospital before!"
"You know what, they said I could be different, so I'm just gonna go get my noose now."
"When I was little my mom said I could be anybody I wanted, but apparently that's called identity theft!"
"Hey check your pants before you take that girl home!"
"When there's a fire, more than likely kids are the ones to burn first!"
"Two weeks ago, you said 'NO' because we weren't in the bed room! Almost a week later, you said 'NO' because we weren't in the living room! Well yesterday we were in the living room and you said 'NO' Because we weren't in the FUCKING PARK!! I'M NOT GONNA FUCK YOU IN A PARK!!!! THERE ARE CHILDREN THERE!!"
"I classify as a helicopter, and I'm gonna get a tattoo of all the people of the world holding hands and the last one's gonna be a helicopter blade."
"If I was a teacher I'd write you up for being a dumb ass."
"Let me go, let me go! I wanna be a whore~! Let me go, let me go! I've gotta fuck some more~! I don't care what they're going to say! So let me go fuck onnn~! The aids never bothered me anyways."
"You're white, yo shouldn't be watching Go Diego Go!"
"I like how the teacher said 'children be quiet' and not 'children stop hitting each other' like sure you can still beat each other but just keep your cries of pain at a low level."
"They're mine you ass wipe!"
"I wish I could have a good day but there are too many fake people in this world."
"We tried incest for a day, it didn't work."
"Mrs.Prugh You should see my underwear!"
"Stop making sex noises in my class!!"
"*screeches* OH MY GOD, GOD'S THROWING BEES AT US!!" - Me
"No dad you shouldn't be texting while you're rapping!"
"DADDY!! Stop stabbing Thomas Jefferson and get over here and rap with me!"
"You have such a tropical bra!"
"I'm a kiwi! I'm a kiwi! No wait I'm a snake! Wait....What fruit looks like an 'S' ?"
"Look you can either call him booty call or boyfriend!"
"umm I'd like to be called booty call."
"Look at my legs, aren't they hot?! And check out this dry spot, isn't it hot too? Doesn't it just turn you on?!
"We're stupid and we're scared, ok?!"
"OMG!! What are you doing?! Stop smelling my soda!"-me
"IM GONNA FUCK YOUR SODA!!"- BFF
"I'm naked guys!"
"WHO, Put a tack on BILLYS CHAIR?!"
"Oh don't get mad, that was me Mrs. Gonzales! I was stabbing people with it earlier and I left it in my back pocket!"
"Awww man! I was gonna taze myself this weekend! I don't wanna do school work!"
"You're tired of being a gentleman? Well that sucks, cut off your pee-pee!"
"That little girl was like 2 years old, like she just popped out the womb, and was wearing an ass ton of makeup!"
"Did you just call me a HOE?!"
"OMG! Jacob, yes! EVERYONE has an ass hole! We don't shit through our crotch!"
"Hey hoe~! Hey hoe~! It's off to fuck we go! Doo-Da-Do-Da-Do! Doo-Da-Do-Da-Do! Hey slut! C'mon let's go and fuck!"
"I'm gonna stab out your eye, but I'm gonna get a good grade before I do!"-BFF
"Have you ever tried FACE FUCKING?!"-BFF
"Our principal walked in on our discussion about starting a drug cartel in Canada, then he decided to stay for the argument on whether the world was flat or not."
"Ugh that sounds crappy and short, like your man's dick!"
"We're gonna sew his ass hole!"
"My best friend got me a portable noose!"
"OMG I JUST GOT SLAPPED ON THE BUTT HARDCORE!!!" -BFF
"My day can be ruined so fast, like honestly just that door thing and I'm like I wanna kill myself."- BGF (Best Gay Friend)
"You are worthless!"
"Huh, that's funny. My dad tells me that every morning!"
"Ohh! What does he tell you every night?"
"That he's gonna kill me. Nothing's happened yet but this morning I saw him sharpening a knife."
"Hey what'd you do in Spanish?"
"I stabbed 5 people!"
"..."
"Oh! You meant the class work! Yea we did a work sheet!"
"Harry Potter was like 'Woop! Got your nose!' And Voldemort was like 'you bitch.' "
"OH THATS VOLDEMORT! Oops sorry I meant 'he who must find a nose'"
"You got water"
"No, but I got sprite in my crotch. I keep it fermented there until it's ripe enough to sell!"
Teacher to student-
"Joe get your life together!"
(Student in tears) "IM TRYING!!!"
"Is it murder if they want me to kill them?"
"Well... to the police yes. To me, no."
Teacher to student-
"You need to get two packages of peanuts and one dollar sometime before you go to prison!"
"God I need more pasta in my life!"-Me
"Oh yea? Well you're a faded PEEP! And a white jellybean! Nobody likes you but they still put up with you."
"Stop touching each other! You can do that after school!"
"I wish I was bald and yogurtless!"-BFF
"Mrs.Lewis has BALLS! TWO OF 'EM!"
"Ima blast off into oblivion... like the gay rocket I am!"-Me
YOU ARE READING
Things I hear in school
HumorRandom things I hear in my high school that are PRETTY strange! •_•
