Never Alone

Morning comes too quickly and with it the day that I have been dreading all year. I wake up with the sun as I have always done, which leaves me an hour before I have to get dressed. I pull the covers of my bed to the side and sit on the edge for a moment. Sighing in resignation I stand and walk to the kitchen. My house is a small one floor rancher with just three bedrooms and two bathrooms. It is nothing like the enormous houses that are just a few miles down the road.  

My older brother Silas sits on a kitchen chair with his feet propped on the table and a cup of steaming coffee in his hand. "Morning Jael" he says when he sees me.

"Morning" I say and attempt to smile, all I really want to do is go back to my warm bed and pretend today is not today. I really don't know if I can handle today, I might have a heart attack.

"There's coffee left, But milk and honey help with the butterflies" he tells me with a wink.

That makes me smile, Silas always seems to know what I am thinking and how I am feeling, and he always seem to have a solution to all of my problems. Even the ones that I don't voice. I walk to the fridge and search for the milk, having spotted it, I place it on the counter while I find a pot, start the stove and find the honey.

"Ready for your first day of school?" Silas asks as I sit down at the table to wake for my milk to warm.

"No" I say miserably "I would rather be homeschooled all through high school"

Silas nods as he takes a drink of his coffee "That's how I felt my first few days, but once I got friends and all I was okay"

I sigh, of course he was okay. Everyone probably wanted to be his friend and he has what seems to a hundred girls in love with him. I mean, look at him, perfect skin, dark brown hair and bright blue eyes, he's funny and everyone likes him. It's impossible not to, his personality is just so outgoing and he sincerely cares and loves everyone.

"Besides" he adds when I don't say anything "You'll have me, it's  not like your going in all alone"

"I suppose so" I answer and get up to pour my milk in a coffee mug and then add a ton of honey. I sit back down at the table and my mother walks into the kitchen with her bible.

"Good morning you two" she greets us as she pours some coffee into a mug.

"Morning mom" Silas and I say at the same time

"Go get your bibles and we will have prayer" she tells us, we both nod and get up to do as she says. Every morning we gather together and read our bibles and pray for fifteen minutes, it is like a family tradition. I get my bible from my room, it's simple enough, dark brown leather and my name is engraved in green at the bottom. I walk back to the kitchen where Silas is already sitting with his own bible, it is very old. It was our dad's father's, our dad died when I was two and I barely remember him, but Silas was seven and he remembers him, I think Silas misses him a lot, mom and him talk about dad when I'm not around, but I've over heard their conversations.

My mom's voice interrupts my thoughts "I was thinking we could each read a verse we like and then pray" she says as she flips through her bible. You can tell he's is well used, there are post its and bookmarks sticking out of pages and she has a little slip of paper with her favorite verses taped to the front.

Silas nods and she continues "Okay...we are on Deuteronomy Chapter 33 Verses 26 - 27"

Silas and I flip to the page as she begins to read "There is none like unto the God of Jeshurun, who rideth upon the heaven in thy help and in his excellency on the sky. The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms: and he shall thrust out the enemy from before and thee and shall say "Destroy them"

My mom finishes the verse and we sit in silence for a moment pondering it. I love reading the bible, it is my favorite book, it has poems, love stories, war stories and all kinds of things and it is special because it is God's word written down for us to hear and use. Sometimes God speaks through the verses to my heart, and it helps me through something in my life. This verse is really beautiful, it's saying how God will take care of us and help us through things, how there is no one like God. 

"God is amazing" I say softly

"Indeed" my mother answers "He is the God of the whole entire universe and yet he still cares for each and every one of us"

I nod and Silas speaks up "Can I go next?"

"Go ahead" my mom says

"Okay, Psalms 36 verses 5 - 10" he waits for us to find the page and then starts reading "Thy mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens; and thy faithfulness reacheth unto the clouds.Thy righteousness is like the  great mountains; thy judgments are a great deep: O Lord, thou preservest man and beast. How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings. They shall be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house; and thou shalt make them drink of the river of thy pleasures. For with thee is the fountain of life: in thy light shall we see light. O continue thy lovingkindness unto them that know thee; and thy righteousness to the upright in heart."

My mom nods to herself as Silas finishes and I can tell she's thinking about the verse, I would think on it but I am in the middle of searching for the right verse to read, I decide to read something about peace, so I flip to the concordance and search for the word peace. When I see one of my favorite verses and go to that one.

"Ready Jael?" mom asks me

I nod "Numbers 6 Verse 24 - 26, The Lord bless thee, and keep thee: The Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The Lord lift up his countenance unto thee and give thee peace"

My pastor used to say this verse as a prayer before the end of the service, I had forgotten about it, I'm glad I found it.

"Didn't Pastor. Falke used to read this?" Silas asks

I nod "Yeah, after every sermon"

"I wonder why he doesn't anymore, he did it for almost two years straight" he say thoughtfully

I don't suggest an answer because I know he wasn't looking for one, he was just thinking out loud, it's something he does all the time.

"Time to pray guys" my mom says, we gather our bibles and walk to the living room, my mom puts some slow music on. She sits on a rocking chair beside our fire place and starts praying, Silas sits on the floor with his bible and I kneel on the floor by the couch.

"Hey Jesus" I whisper softly "I love you, and your awesome, I don't know what I would do without you to help me and take care of me, there really is no one like you, no one can compare to your power, and glory, hallelujah" For a moment I just sit in silence thinking about how awesome God is, I always start my prayer with praise, it is what your supposed to do. Jesus gave us the ''Our father prayer' to help us know how to pray, we should begin and end with praise. In the middle we can ask for help and pray for other people.

"Jesus" I start "I am really nervous about going to school today, I am afraid no one will like me and no one will want to talk to me. Please help me, I don't want to have to be all alone, I want friends and I want people to like me, give me confidence and peace as I walk into school, walk with me and guide me and help me" I pray for about ten minutes longer, until our timer goes off.

Silas turns off the music and my mom looks up "Well, go get dressed guys" she says "And I'll make some breakfast"

"Okay mom" I say and walk to my room to get read for school.