It's a Secret

Jealousy

I hadn't a clue what kind of dare to give him. I looked at Brian hoping he could give me an idea, but he was no help and simply shrugged his shoulders.

I just wish he had said truth. I wanted to know for sure how he felt about me and I figured I could squeeze something out of him that way.

Freddie had a sly look on his face and looked over to Brian, winking. I didn't know what was happening, but I wasn't really sure I liked it.

"I dare you to kiss Brian." The words left Freddie's mouth before I could interject. 

Roger raised his eyebrows and surprisingly didn't object. He leaned forward and Brian leaned into him for a brief kiss. It just made me furious. The kiss wasn't long at all but I still felt it was too long. I clenched my fist and tightened my jaw. The way they both grinned after they broke away. Roger shouldn't kiss Brian, he should kiss me. I was so mad, I stood up and glared at Roger before running out the room. I ran out the door and down the sidewalk to the car. I leaned up against the car and slid down it, sitting with my face in my knees and my arms around my legs. I had never felt this way before. I was actually jealous. It's not like I owned him or anything.

Hot tears ran down my cheeks and I could taste the saltiness as they rested on my lips. It felt as though someone had reached into my chest and ripped my heart out. I was having trouble catching my breath and my head felt dizzy. I was so caught up in my own sobbing, I didn't hear the footsteps on the gravel walking towards me. It wasn't until a hoarse, shaky voice spoke that I realized I wasn't alone. I didn't have to look up to know exactly who it was.

"John?" Roger spoke softly with a worry in his voice. "What happened? Are you alright?"

I clenched my jaw and snapped my head up to stare at him. 

I wiped my hand across my face, drying it off before yelling at him. "No! I'm not okay! I just had my heart ripped into and all you could do was grin!" 

I could see his shoulders fall and his eyes became teary. I started to feel guilty for yelling at him. In all honesty, he didn't even do anything wrong. He was just playing along with the game and I overreacted.

My face dropped as I saw small tears glide down his cheeks. I had hurt his feelings and he didn't deserve it.

"I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry Rog. I don't know what happened... I shouldn't have snapped at you." I closed my eyes and held my head down. I heard him slowly shuffle over to me. He just stood there beside me for a while, until I felt a warm body occupy the space beside me. I broke down in tears again and he hesitantly wrapped one arm around me. I immediately leaned into him. He wrapped his other arm around me as my tears drenched the front of his shirt. Hot tears fell from his face and I lifted my head, sorrow filled his eyes.

"Roger... please don't cry. You didn't do anything wrong." I hated seeing him this way. 

"No John, I did do something wrong." he sighed and continued. "I made you cry... and that's the last thing I wanted to do." 

"Why... why did you kiss him like that? You smiled after you kissed him." my voice was barely a whisper.

"I just... I wanted to kinda... make you jealous. I didn't know it would hurt you like that." He held his head down and let his arms fall.

"Why did you grin like that afterwards?" He looked into my eyes and spoke. 

"I wasn't thinking of kissing Brian... I was thinking about kissing you." the corners of his mouth curled into a soft smile.

"You don't have to imagine it." I boldly spoke up and wiped his tears away with my thumb.

With shaky hands he rubbed the side of my face and held my chin up. He softly brushed his lips over mine and I pulled his face in with my hand on his neck, fully kissing him. I felt him smile into the kiss before I pulled away. 

"Roger... who were those songs about?" I had an idea of who they were about, but I wanted to hear him say it.

"You. They were about you." He started to blush and I smiled.

I wrapped both my arms around his middle and he wrapped his across me back, embracing me in a strong hug.

"Last night... are you sure you don't remember what happened?" I pulled away slightly to look him in the eyes.

"You mean when we did this..." He kissed me the exact same way as before and I broke away and slapped his arm. 

"You mean to tell me you remember and didn't tell me?" He blushed and looked down sheepishly. 

"I was scared of what you'd do..." he giggled and I smiled at him. "I just want to tell you... I meant it."

"That's exactly what I was hoping you'd say." I pressed my forehead against his before standing up and holding my hand out for his.

I kindly grasped it and we stood together, holding hands and grinning ear-to-ear.

He pulled me close and pressed his left cheek against the right side of my face. I could feel his hot breath on my ear as he sweetly spoke. "I love you John."

I gasped and pulled back to look at his face. "Roger... I love you too,"

He squeezed me tighter and kissed me softly. He pulled away and I held his hand in mine, smirking at him. "Let's go back inside now."

He rubbed my hand with thumb and nodded, walking me back to Freddie's door.

Freddie and Brian opened the door for us before we even had a chance to reach it. 

A crimson color devoured our faces as we walked up to them.

"I see you two made up... now, come on in and let's finish this game!" He nudged me with his elbow as we all four laughed and returned to the living room.

I let go of Roger's hand and stood in front of Brian, who immediately blushed. He opened his mouth to say something but I pulled him into a tight hug. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me back. "I thought you'd be mad at me."

I pulled back and smiled at him. "No Brian... I can't get mad at you." 

He smiled and pulled me back into a hug. That hug turned into a group hug as Roger wrapped his arms around the both of us, followed by Freddie who squeezed all of us tightly.

We all broke away and plopped back down on the floor. 

"Hey, I forgot who's turn it was!" Freddie shouted playfully.

"I never technically gave Roger a dare..." I looked into Roger's eyes. "Roger... I dare you to kiss me."

He lunged at me and pinned me on the ground, kissing me fiercely. He broke the kiss and smirked at me. "You know you could do better."

I smacked him on his arm and he got off of me, giggling, and spun to bottle. 

It was the best night I'd had in a long time.