Lost Myself

#13reasonswhycontest

I lost myself.

When I moved from a small town to a city I had no idea the change ahead. I had no idea what battles I would face. When I moved everything changed.

I became a target of bullying.

I was hurt emotionally after what they had done. They picked on me saying how I didn't belong and wasn't normal. I had no one. No one to talk to or even anyone to empathize with me.

Unlike at my old town.

In my old town everybody new everybody. We were all shy at first but then we eventually opened up. Everybody was the same yet different at the same time. I felt like I belonged, like I was meant to be there.

Not here though, I was different.

I wasn't like everyone else.

I was an outcast. I tried to fit in later on but, I felt phony. I eventually followed what everyone would do. If they liked the color purple so did I. If they loved cats but hated dogs so did I.

I didn't belong. I knew where I was meant to be.

But, at the end of the day I fit in and had "friends," and the bullying stopped. That was all that mattered to me.

In time, I lost touch with everyone I knew in my old town. It was like it had all been a dream. A distant memory now. I bet they'll forget all about clumsy me anyways.

All I knew at the time was to keep up my act. I couldn't go through being bullied again. It was torture.

Little did I know, I was changing.

By that time everyone loved and accepted me. They thought I was perfect but, in reality I was already on my way to losing myself bit by bit.

It was like I had lost all my emotions, opinions, and most importantly myself. I forgot who I was and what I liked to do. Heck, I didn't even know my favorite color.

The funny thing was I didn't even realize it until I was told about myself as a child. In my old town of course. I was apparently a smart, adventurous, and courageous little kid. I fought for what I thought was right.

I didn't know that me anymore. But I definitely wanted her back.

However, it was too late. I tried so hard to get the old me back but, I couldn't. I failed. I probably would never know who I truly am.

I was gone for good.

If only I didn't move, maybe I would still be me and not a person who doesn't even know their favorite color. I would still be me, if only I could change the past. If only I stayed at my home, where I truly belonged.