Recently I was listing to the song, "She Use To Be Mine" by Sara Bareilles and then as any person would do, I read the comments; I came across this,
"I heard this song when I woke up un-groggy for the first time after an abortion. It was the first time I heard it. And riding in the car beside my Mom, who had been pro-choice her entire life until the moment she was staring that decision right in the face, both of us were silent the entire song. Through every lyric, it was as if Sara had written a eulogy of my life. Everything we had been through, everything I had suffered. Everything I had seen. Every time I had to grow up sooner than I should have. Everything I had to push to the back of my mind so I didn't lose myself completely. Everything surfaced through these lyrics. This will just be another comment lost among this thread. But if someone happens to read it - if someone who NEEDS to see this comment see's it - know that things will always be better. TIME HEALS ALL. Even if it seems as though no one would care if you were gone. Even if it seems as though you have no purpose in this world. YOU MATTER. It doesn't matter how many mistakes you have made. It doesn't matter how many times you have sworn to God "you'd change" if he just forgave you for this one mistake. Hell. Even if you don't believe in God. If you don't know what to believe, if you're lost, if you don't know what to do - just keep going. Keep doing. Keep moving in any direction that is away from the heartache and pain that keeps you tied down. Let go of the past. Let go of the fear and hurt your heart endures on a daily basis. Just keep living. Keep going. Forgive. Never forget. Learn from your mistakes. Better yourself. Live for you. Find your happiness. Love unconditionally. Live."
The series of comments that came after this, started to get me to think about all the hate, and love that we have for others - well, strangers. Before reading this comment, I had never known anyone with an abortion story, and never thought about all the emotional pain that people go through when they make the decision to abort; this comment makes you think more about life, and what goes into making life changing decisions.
As a child I was pro life, now I am pro making your own decisions about your life. Although, my reasons are not what you would think they would be; I'm pro choice because it's hard to make that kind of decision about a human being that you're carrying in your womb.
People make the decision to abort for specific reasons, and they are normally not the people who sleep around with everyone. These are actual human beings who make the decisions for good reasons, and deal with the burden for the rest of their lives.
"'Bella' - that would have been her name. With the woman I loved. It took me two days to understand these lyrics (mere male) but I do understand them now. To my regret. Forever. As a guy, I found this freakishly amazing song somehow had left me completely speechless. In the dark. But better at understanding now. I thought of 'her' and her dreams. And to Shelby, thank you for sharing your feelings.. God bless."
Making the decision to abort is not an easy one; it's not like you get up one day and just decide to terminate your pregnancy because you feel like it. You have to remember that most people who get pregnant didn't plan to have a child introduced into this world, and they are lost, confused, and need someone to turn to during their times of need; they are only human and, like us, they are imperfect (perfectly imperfect).
Understand how much that person has gone through to make that decision, and how many -people called them a slut or a whore because of one mistake. Understand that they made a mistake, but they never asked for our ridicule. So for someone to sit there, and make judgments when they've probably made the same mistakes is ridiculous. We are only human, and we will bleed when we fall down, and we will make mistakes.
I hate how society encourages us to call a girl a slut, whore, tramp, etc. because all we have done is set up a system for not support, but criticism. Sometimes life slips through a back door and we wish that we could turn back the clocks to rewrite the endings of the decisions that we have made. So when someone deals their ridicule to that girl who got pregnant, that they are a slut, whore, a tramp is nothing but white noise that unfortunately most girls can not tune out. This is why people never ask for help, and they are forced to make these scary decisions on their own. We are all broken and we all make mistakes. So either help that girl who is crying over there in the corner, or be the bystander that does nothing. In the end regardless of your choice, I'll be the first person to help out that poor girl who is lost and needs someone to turn to.
