Mentors (A Joshler FanFic)

Chapter Thirty One - (Don't) Doubt (Me)

Josh's P.O.V.

I think in my mind I tried to ignore the passing of time. Winter came with a vengeance and let out all of its pent up anger and then stormed off leaving spring in its wake. Spring was beautiful of course, the flowers bloomed leaving a glorious smell in the air, nature's glorious perfume. Tyler smiled a lot and I think that spring was when I really saw him blossom just like the flowers. It was different than before, he seemed to have a new found confidence and a twinkle in his eyes. I had a moment when I first noticed it, and it made my heart swell with happiness because I knew he'd be okay. I knew he'd be alright when I went to college next year.

I was walking out of math class and I quickly noticed him standing farther down the hallway with a group of my teammates. He was the center of attention, telling some kind of story his hands flying around, he talked with his hands a lot. Everyone bursted out laughing at something he said and my face lit up with a smile. I smiled for how far my boyfriend had come from the kid who was hiding behind the dumpster crying. I walked up to the group and listened in on what he was saying, he flashed me a big grin, his eyes were alight with life. And that was a beautiful sight to see.

Tyler was doing amazing in school, he'd caught up amazingly well. His reading was greatly improved and even math was going better, not great, but it was math. He was flourishing. Tyler and I had been playing soccer together after school and I'd been surprised at how good he was. Tyler was fast, like a bolt of lightning up and down the field. He surprised me by giving me a run for my money. I knew he'd be an asset to the team and I was gonna force him to try out next school year whether he liked it or not. I knew he'd fit right in, he was already friends with half of my teammates already and once they saw his skills they'd be begging him to play.

We were driving home from school one rainy day blaring music and jamming out which was normal for us. I turned onto our street and was surprised to see a strange vehicle in our driveway. Tyler squinted and turned with a surprised look to face me. "That's my dad's car. What is he doing here?"

"That's a good question."

I pulled into the driveway and Tyler's dad got out of the car and stamped out a cigarette in the driveway. Tyler and I got out of the car. I walked a bit behind him. "Dad..." Tyler said, his voice dripping with confusion.

"Hey kid."

"Hi..." Tyler said his voice cold and firm, lacking emotion.

"So um your brother....he um overdosed last night. He's dead."

"What?"

"He died last night. Coke, heroin...I don't know what it was, but he's dead. Just thought I'd come let you know."

"Thanks for letting me know," Tyler said emotionless.

"I'm glad to see you're doing well. Hang in there kid. You might actually achieve something in your life. That would make your mom proud."

"I'm sure."

"Well I gotta be going. Bye Tyler. Josh."

I watched Tyler watch as his father got back in the car and drove away down the street. I walked up to Tyler and put my hand on his shoulder. "Babe? What are you feeling?"

"I don't know."

He turned to face me. "I don't know what to feel. He was my brother. I loved him. I loved him despite the hell he put me through. Is that fucked up?"

"There's nothing fucked up about it."

"I can't believe he's gone." Tyler's eyes began to tear up. I grabbed him and held him to my chest. He sobbed, his head resting on my shoulder. "My big brother's gone."

"It's alright babe, let it out."

I pulled him along with me inside and held him for awhile until the tears stopped. "How are you feeling babe," I asked rubbing his back.

"I'm alright. I think I miss the brother I used to have. I still have those memories and I'll hold on to the good times. Zack had his own problems and frankly this was probably an inevitability. I wish I could have saved him."

"We can't save everyone, no matter how hard we try sometimes it's not enough."

"But you saved me."

"I didn't save you. You don't give yourself enough credit. Maybe I helped but you ultimately had to do most of the work."

"True, but I wouldn't be alive without you."

I squeezed the boy in my arms and he looked up at me. "I love you Josh."

"Love you too my lil burrito."

"I am going to make my mom proud."

"You already have Tyler. You're an amazing boy, she's already proud of you."

"But I'm really gonna make something of myself someday."

"I don't doubt that you will."

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so that just happened

why my computer is writing like this I do not know

anyways

until next time frendos

Stay Alive

Stay Street

And Go Create

|-/