my demons are on my side now

im fine.....

All I could think about is all the pain people have caused me and how did that all when I was 6 my dad and mom were taking pills and got divorced and nothing was really ever the same. My sister and brother told me over and over again I was never meant to be born I was a mistake and they were right. Every time I went to school I would get bullied or in trouble for my teacher accusing of stealing her stuff and my grandma and my dad never believed me at age 7 I had to stay with my grandparents for a week or two because my grandma didnt trust my dad but I didn't trust my grandma my grandpa kept on getting drunk so I ran back home at age 8 I moved with my mom she was smoking alot and my dad got a new girlfriend that smoked weed and I got a new dog my mom moved into a apartment for a while and got a new boyfriend named Corey he was really strict but actually listened to what I said my dad or grandma never did then me and my dad went to a daddy daughter dance and my stepdad and dad started fighting and I was crying sitting in the corner yelling stop no one listened except my mom she picked up and ran outside and called her friend to pick us up and we lived with him for a year and once I turned nine he ruined my stuff and crumbled up my posters and ruined my moms stuff to and his dog ate my cat and then I had to switch schools and go to Clio 5th grade I turned ten on august 20th and I made a friend Cloie she was my Best friend but i got into a argument with her because there rumors that she was talking crap about my family and we never became friends again and a month later my great grandparents died and my cousin committed suicide it was hard not living with my brother I always looked up to him but now I live with my mom and stepdad  and a week later my dog died we switched houses again and one month before my birthday my mom died from drugs and people at Clio were saying it around the school then I switched schools again and I Havent seen my stepdad since now I live with my grandma which always accuses me of stuff and my dad got a new girlfriend my step sisters were evil and crazy so I went to the backyard with a piece of glass and started cutting myself I went to a new school and everyone made fun of me this is when I decided I wanted to be a boy and gay but I couldn't tell my parents they would laugh and I got a new dog and started to notice that my cousins were just like me.........terrified of the real world the truth of reality the next month I cut my hair and got glasses and people at school started asking me if I'm trans or lesbian I didn't answer I just went home found the pencil sharpener and cut myself on my legs thighs and wrists and that day a made a whole group of friends Erin, makerria,Richard,Justin,Jesse,amarion and Seth Joseph and Hayden my crush I found he was gender fluid and my grandma accused me of stealing and taking drugs but it was only because she would compare me to my dad and my mom I compared me to me I cared what others said but I also cared what I thought I was insecure then I met others like me online and YouTube's I was happyish I wanted be called Adrian not adrianna I wanted be a boy I tried to tell my parents they wouldn't listen I tried to tell my friends but it was hard to explain at school I started siding with bad side I ignored my teachers my grandma and my dad no one cared then someone who cared ALEX ALEX YESH SALAD PANDA