Regrets,
Sadness,
Longing....
Longing?
Was it really that?
Longing for what though?
For you?
You?
Yeah I guess so,
But why?
I hadn't made my own moves anyways?
But I still find myself longing,
Longing for you,
But,
I didn't say anything to you,
Unlike Theodosia,
Burr?
You know her?
You know?
You're girlfriend?
Tsh,
Maybe not,
But you should,
You do know,
You know,
The one you broke my heart with?
Yeah...
Ummm....
So...
Was it even really longing anymore?
Or just need?
Envy and lust?
The need to be with you even more,
More than before?
Because...
You...
You didn’t belong with her,
Not at all,
Not with her,
Her?
Because she didn’t really love you,
Money was all she wanted,
And that's what she got,
But..
She didn’t love you like I do,
And,
But....
And....
And you would never be mine?
Mine?
You know right,
With a guy?
A guy.
That guy?
George Eaker.
Him?
Do you even remember a George Eaker?
Me, George Eaker?
Phillip?
Honey?
Can I even call you that?
Maybe...
Pip?
Yeah you.
Right there,
Holding the hand of Theodosia Burr?
The hand of the daughter,
Of you're father's enemie?
The Burrs?
You know?
And,
And your father...
Your father was okay with that?
But,
I wanted you...
You?
Longing,
So was it that same longing,
That had stopped me from trying?
Even though it didn't?
It hadn't,
But,
Was it that same longing?
That wanted you to be with me?
But that didn't want me to tell you?
Was it my stubborness,
That kept me from your arms,
But that kept me going all the same.
All the same?
No, it didn't.
You would never be mine,
Mine?
I realize that now,
You would never be mine,
Never!
It was impossible for you to be mine?
Or was it?
Was it impossible...
For someone or something to be yours....
Without it being anyone else's?
Yes,
Of course,
Because you were hers,
Her's,
And she was yours,
With you,
And you weren't mine?
Never,
And it takes a long cycle of heartbreak,
To get rid of that longing,
That longing,
My longing,
And not your longing,
I love you Pip,
I really do,
Longing.
373 words.
