Forever Lost

Losing Her

Start Over: make a new beginning.  

We all make mistakes in life. Not intentional, but that's just life.

As I view my life so far, I wonder...   What if I just apologized...Would we still be friends? What if I told the truth...Would I still be rejected? What if I was more confident... Would he notice me? What if I was not so quiet...Would I have more friends? What if I was more social..Would more people like me? What if I was a completely different person...Would more people talk to  me?

All the time I wonder these things. Friends are supposed to be there for you. To cheer you up when you're down. To stand up for you when people pick on you. But friends change also. I thought I had a friend who would always be there for me. And I thought she did also likewise. But little did I know she didn't...       

So let's name her Emily. Emily was always so nice to me. We always talked in school but I had my boundaries because she was known as a "player" when it came to friendships. She soon got to me also. Suddenly, when I wanted to hang out with her she suddenly turned on me in front of her best friend who we'll call Becky. She told and said it right to my face, "you're not my friend, so stop following me around! I don't like you!" Those words struck me like a bullet. There was no hint of of fear or compassion in her face whatsoever. 

Ever since that day her best friend and her have hated me ever since. They spread rumors, gossiped, and made people look bad, including me. As we grew up and were more mature and independent, Becky and i became good friends. Emily tried to always become close friends with me. I talked with her but sooner or later I knew she would go back to her "old ways", which she did.

We've always been involved in some kind of drama. But up to now, I was done with her. I had blocked her on social media platforms she was mostly active on and I always stayed on private. I would not let her attitude get the better of me, but eventually it did. She had told a student that I has said something which was false. She had framed me for her own actions only because she wanted the guy to like her. It was all out of selfishness! Due to this, the guy had believed her no matter how many times I confessed to not saying anything. 

At the time I knew why he had believed her. The reason for this was because he saw me as a liar and because of the color of my skin. This reason had triggered me to act immediately. I had texted her and we threw insults at each other. I had lost one of my best friends, maybe, forever.