Ang Cheerleader Ng Buhay Ko [boyxboy]

Chapter 49

K E N T

Bathwater swirled, boiling lazily in fat, white bubbles as I stared at my own reflection in the foggy bathroom mirror. For a second, I didn't recognize my own reflection. I wiped the foggy mirror and stared closely at the boy right in front of me. At first glance, I may look like my typical lighthearted self, but my downcast eyes says otherwise. I realized I've never felt so lonely in a long time. As a matter of fact, the feeling is kind of foreign. I guess I might've already forgotten what loneliness feels like.

I've always enjoyed my solitude; I've always craved my own personal space. Solitude and space charge my batteries; they help me breathe. Having people around can sometimes be very exhausting, except for a rare few, of course. At least, when I'm alone, I don't have to heed to someone else's wants and expectations. When I'm alone, I feel safe in my own familiar bubble, connecting the dots in my constellation of thoughts.

But these past few days were different. My room, the house, my life — they've never been this quiet. I'm so used to not having my parents around most of the time as they're mostly on business trips, or they have meetings to attend, or they've got flights to catch — and that's okay. But the silence right here is unusual. It's like a void demanding to be filled.

Quite often, I find myself wishing my life was slower. Time seems to be too fast that it's hard to catch up.

A few days have already passed since Jansen moved out, and I've started missing his presence. I miss him in our basketball practices, I miss his noise, his whining, his company. Of course, I still get to see him at school or wherever as often as we'd like, but it feels different.

I wasn't against his decision though — living with Kevan, I mean. In fact, it could possibly be a good idea. Parang aso at pusa silang dalawa, pero baka ito pa ang maging dahilan para magkasundo sila. After all, that's what I've always wanted. Pero... there's this nagging feeling inside me that I don't understand. Sigh... never mind.

Speaking of Kevan, sa mga classes na lang namin kami usually magkasama. Recently, parang ang busy na niya especially malapit na ang cheerleading competition nila. I heard na mas intensive pa ang training nila ngayon. At magti-training na rin sila sa mga susunod na weekends.

Sometimes I find myself wishing I could trade places with Jansen. That way, I can be with Kevan longer and more often. Perhaps I envy those people who gets to be with Kevan everyday. I feel like our moments together aren't always enough. Kaya siguro nalulungkot ako. Namimiss ko sila pareho.

Later on, I just caught myself driving towards their dorm. I woke up early to pick them up so the three of us could have breakfast together. But when I got there, a familiar face greeted me after knocking on their door. I was expecting Kevan or Jansen to open the door, but I was surprised to see Tita Carmela...

"Oh, hijo! Ikaw pala!" she said, smiling, as she pulled the door wide open. I didn't expect to see her, so I wasn't able to answer right away. "Hali ka, pasok ka!"

"G-good morning, Tita!" I replied as soon as she stepped aside to let me in, but my eyes were already searching for Kevan.

I immediately found him and Jansen having breakfast, facing each other. He was about to take a spoonful of food when our eyes met, and I saw how his eyes grew wide in surprise that made me chuckle. I waved at them. Jansen then hastily stood up and gave me a side hug.