the worst {hs / sg}

"and don't take this personal but you're the worst, you know what you've done to me. and although it hurts I know, I just can't keep runnin' away."

"Leave a message after the beep." His voice mail said, for the 10th time I called him. I sighed in frustration, hanging up the phone and shifted my position on the couch. 5:00 in the morning and I sat on this old beat up couch waiting for him to come home, like I always do. Same old routine, he goes out every night after work and doesn't come home until the morning. I make dinner and wait for him, but it's just a waste. Minutes and minutes passed and I was falling asleep until I heard the front door open and I saw him stumbling in. Drunk, of course; I got up and onto my feet, walking over to my drunk, idiot boyfriend. "Hello there beautiful." He grinned, struggling to stand on his feet. I scrunched my nose once the smell of alcohol hit me straight in the face. I walked behind him and pulled on the sleeves of his jacket, removing it off of him and hanging it up on the coat rack. His hands grabbed my waist and pulled me towards him, "How was your n-night?" He mumbled. I shook my head and pushed him off slightly, "Go to bed. I've been waiting for hours for you." He grabbed my wrists, staring into my eyes. The smell of alcohol hit me hard once again. "I asked you a damn question and you'll answer me." My knees shook and I stood there, trying to turn away from him. He grabbed onto my wrists tighter and I bit my lip, pushing his hands off. "Don't put your hands on me, Harry. I'm going to bed, get your self together and come with me or don't. I don't care." I walked away from him quickly before he could reach me.

Lying in the bed we share, I felt the tears running down my face, running past my lips, the taste of salty tears filled my mouth and I continued to cry until I heard him walk into the bedroom. I wiped my eyes and hid under the blanket, moving my body away from the empty space about to be occupied. He jumped into bed and groaned, I felt his hands pull me towards him. I laid there, not moving. "I'm sorry." He whispered into my ear, I moved my body more to the edge of the bed and ignored him. I heard him sigh and I shut my eyes, hoping the tears would stop.

"I don't need you, but I want you. I don't mean to but I love you."

"I wait for you every night and day, hands and feet. I don't know what else I could do for you, really. I can't keep living my life like this, I'm so sick of this." I yelled, throwing my hands up in defeat. He stood there with an angry look on his face, but he stayed silent. I looked at him and wiped my tears away, holding back the rest. "Get out, I want you to leave. I need you to go, now." I managed to speak out, he stepped closer to me and grabbed my arms. I flinched at his touch, it was no longer welcoming and warm. "Who do you think you're talking to like that?" He yelled, I jumped hearing him raise his voice, "You remember I pay for this, I pay for everything. I'm not going anywhere." I pushed him away and started to walk to the bedroom. "So I'll go." I heard his foot steps follow close behind me as I walked up the stairs and into the room. I walked straight to the closet and grabbed all of my clothes, throwing them to the floor. I looked back and he stood there, watching me. "You don't have to go baby, we can work this out." He said as he started to pace around the room. I shook my head and muttered some curse words before grabbing my suitcase and filled it up with my things. "Not anymore, we tried to fix things so many times. It's useless."

He grabbed my wrist and brought me to his chest, "Please, don't go." I struggled to break free from his grip, but I found my self staring into his eyes and remembered why I even fell in love with him in the first place. He was the only guy who ever took the time to figure me out and know me, he was my first everything, he was my first love and we were just so perfect together. I tried to look away from his eyes, trying not to give into his pleas for me to stay. I felt his lips on my face, kissing my skin, I groaned and used whatever strength I had to ignore it, I wasn't going to let him have so much power over me. "Please." He begged once again, I bit down on my lip once his lips reached my neck. He knew exactly how to get to me, to make me forget his mistakes. "Fine." I whispered to him, dropping my suit cases and molded my self into his chest, embracing his warm body and scent. "Thank you darling, you know I love you." He cooed into my ear, I nodded my head and held onto him, the thought of this being a mistake hung in the back of my mind.