It was a stupid idea from the start. Ever since I first saw that muddy, dented jeep pickup, I knew I should have just stayed home. But it was too late, so I tossed my duffel bag in the back. I turned around as we drove further away from the main road, clouds of dust appearing behind our tires as we went deeper and deeper into the pines.
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Okay, so I had better tell you where this all started. I'm Nick Jones - a totally unique name, I know. I live in the town of Green Pines, Connecticut. It's not a real big town, but not really small either. The only tourists we get are campers and skiers to visit the 'great wilderness' - usually city folks. Green Pines is the only town around here big enough to have a high school, so kids from miles around go to our school, called Alfred P. Jones High School. He was my great-great grandfather, and the founder of the school. My family has stayed here ever since he first set foot in Green Pines.
So anyway, I go to the school. I'm in 11th grade, and we're having - not one, but two! - weeks of spring break because the teachers really can't handle us any longer. I know that's it's supposed to be for Easter, but all the students know the real reason. Besides, the teachers want a break too.
Not much exciting things go on around here, but around a month or two ago, a new family moved into the huge mcmansion on the side of one of our many mountains. I don't know much about them, except for the son, who started going to our school. His name's Richard Lyon, and at eighteen already stands around six feet. For whatever reason, the jocks at school liked him immediately, whereas it took me all of 9th grade and a bit of 10th to get into their posse. Richie (his nickname) has glasses and wears preppy clothes that look like they're worth more than my iPhone 5. They probably are, too, as I've heard that his father's really rich. Makes sense - you'd have to be to buy that fancy-ass mcmansion.
Rich has blonde hair that is shaved on the sides and swept to the side in the front, perfectly gelled. He's kinda a nerd, if you ask me. I mean, he's the only kid in the school who actually reads by his own choice and doesn't get shoved into the lockers by the Triplets.
Oh, I haven't told you about them yet. They're not really triplets, just the meanest bullies in the whole damn county. They're not really that bad, as long as you stay on their good side. Their names are Bradd, Brandon, and Benny Jr. Most of the kids call them the Bitch Triplets - behind their backs, of course. Nobody would willingly choose to get the shit kicked out of them by three 300-pound gorillas. That's how I spent my freshman year - at least until I scored the winning goal in the soccer match with the county over, and won the game for Alfred P. Jones' for the first time in five years. The Triplets are huge sports nuts, and play every sport available here, especially football. They're the top three high school football players for miles around. Although their favorite is football, they still have great respect for any other sport and its players (except probably bowling or golf or some old-man shit like that). So it's a good thing my one talent is soccer, or the only memory I'd have to tell my kids about my high school years is being elbowed into rusty metal lockers at least once a week.
That is, if I even have kids.
You're probably wondering, "Why not?", and that's the same thing I'd ask, too, but...as hard as it is to admit...I...well, I have problems with, er, erections.
That's right. I'm sort of impotent. It's not like I've never had one (trust me, I have), but the thing is that I only get them when I make myself - not with girls.
So, I can get a fine boner alone in my room at ten p.m., but not during my 'sex attempts' with various girlfriends (now ex-girlfriends). Don't get me wrong - I like girls just fine! I've fallen in love with different ones throughout my life, but nothing ever worked out long-term because of my 'issue'. And I'm certainly not gonna be able to get another one until my 'problem' is fixed.
Good news is, my doctor said it should stop in a year or two if I take these 'Hormone Booster Supplements' - aka. boner drugs (my name for them). But until then, me and my heart are gonna be pretty damn lonely.
And my dick too.
